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zorosimpclub · 10 months ago

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My Brother's Best friend (001) – Geto Suguru

⊹˚. ♡ Summary: You have always been in love with your brother’s best friend (who also happens to be his roommate) – does he even feel the same way or does he view you just as Gojo's little sister? It doesn’t matter because your brother made it very clear to him that you were off limits since you're his precious little sister… But were you really off limits?

⊹˚. ♡ Content: 18+ only, MDNI – fem!reader, eventual smut, brother's best friend trope, this will be a multi-chapter series!

⊹˚. ♡ Word count: 2.8k

Geto leaned back on the sofa and let out a loud yawn, “Why are you here all the time? Don’t you have your own place?”

You grinned a little. It’s true, you did have you own place but you were always at your brother’s place, which just so happened to be Geto’s place.

“What? I’m just here to spend some quality time with my brother, what’s it to you?”

Okay, you were really only there for your long term crush, Geto but you couldn’t tell him that. Besides, with you constantly bickering like actual siblings, you were pretty sure that he only viewed you as his buddy’s little sister. Nothing more. At least he never really gave you any reason to think that he liked you more than that.

He rolled his eyes playfully, “You’re annoying as hell. You need to get a boyfriend asap so that you stop dropping by so often.”

“Satoru, Suguru is being mean again.” You clung onto Gojo, whining to him.

You weren’t a spoiled little sister, but it was funny to get Gojo to tell him off, even if he often just feigned anger at him. It was your little thing. You would rile Geto up, Geto would say something mean (playfully of course), and then you’d snitch to your brother. Then you’d all just sit there and laugh.

“Cut it out Suguru, don’t bully my precious lil’ sis.” He said flatly but grinned at Geto, shaking his head at both your antics.

Geto sighed, idly flicking through the TV channels. Why was there nothing interesting on? He couldn’t handle having to pretend like he didn’t have the hots for his buddy’s little sister – being around you was pure torture.

“Just don’t get in my way or annoy me when you’re here or you’ll regret it.”

“Oo you gonna spank me, Suguru?”

You burst out laughing, causing Gojo to fake vomit at the thought of his little sister and best friend getting it on

Geto’s eyes narrowed as he lunged for you, a look of feigned rage on his perfectly sculpted face. But all he does is grab you by the waist and lift you up, as if you were an annoying rag doll.

“You little shit! I’ll just throw you in the trash where you belong!”

You doubled in laughter in a mocking way, “Oh no, I’m so scared!”

Geto shook his as he kept you in in his grasp but couldn’t keep a straight face for much longer. Soon enough, he broke down laughing with you. Gojo grinned at the two and went back to scrolling on his phone. This was the norm after all, the touching didn’t bother him much since you play fought with Geto all the time, for years. For years. Sigh.

Your phone rang, disrupting your laughter, “Hey? Oh, Utahime….Yeah? A date? I don’t know, I’ll get back to you on that?” You glanced briefly at Geto who looked a little tense but seemed sucked into whatever was on the TV.

Tapping the ‘end call’ button, you leaned back on the sofa in silence.

Gojo perked up from your side curious as to who you were being set up with (because he’s your nosy, over protective brother) “Oh? Someone wants to date you? Who is it?”

You shrugged slightly, not wanting to make it into a big deal, “That was Utahime, saying something about how she wanted to set me up on a blind date.”

“And you said yes?” Geto asked flatly, still looking at the screen as if he wasn’t really interested.

“I mean, it’s been a while since I’ve gotten laid so maybe.”

Geto did a double take, his eyes narrowing slightly but only slightly – he was careful not to show the jealousy he felt of you potentially going out on a random blind date. He couldn’t.

“A while since you’ve what, now?”

You snickered, an amused smirk gracing your perfect plush lips, “Been to pound town. Got railed. Had sex.”

Gojo let out a fake shrill scream, looking horrified, “As your brother I don’t wanna hear about your sex life.”

You could have sworn Geto blushed a little but he quickly covered it up with a bored expression, “Is that all you think about?”

Grinning from ear to ear, you tucked your hair behind your ears, “C’mon you guys go on dates all the time to fuck, how is this different? Just learning from my role models.”

He looked a little surprised, staying quiet for a bit as if he was choosing the right words to say. Tell me not to go. Come on, anything. Tell me you need me.

“Just… make sure you’re safe.”

Your heart sank a little. Of course. What else did you expect. There’s no way he sees you as anything other than Satoru’s little sister. You felt a little sad but you forced a grin like you always did.

“Yes mum, I’ll use protection.”

Gojo gagged and got up, walking towards his room, “Alright, I can’t take this anymore. I’m gonna’ go take a nap.”

You and Geto both looked at each other for a silent moment and burst out laughing, it was so funny getting under Gojo’s skin. Whenever you wanted some alone time with Geto, you’d just be crass so that your brother gets disgusted and leaves you alone with him, unable to handle any words coming out of your mouth. You were ‘ruining sex’ for him (his words).

Geto shifted a little in his seat, now painfully aware of the fact that you and his were alone in the living room. “Why are you so… open about your sexual experiences?”

You shrugged, not seeing the issue. It’s not like you talking like this was a new development, you didn’t know why he was acting awkward about it but shook it off.

“Why not?”

“I thought women like to keep things like that a secret… especially from other men.”

You thought about it for a moment. True. Some did, some didn’t. Maybe it was weird to be sharing this with someone who you practically grew up with.

“You’re not just other men though.”

He looked a little surprised and then his gaze softened slightly, which caught you off guard – he had never looked at you like that in all the years you’ve known him.

You grinned a little, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” He asked, as if he hadn’t been looking at you like you were the most precious thing to ever walk into his life.

“Nothin’ must just be my imagination.” There was a brief, comfortable silence as you took in his features, “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Ya know? Dating. You went on that date with that brunette haired chick the other day, right? How’d it go?”

He looked away for a second, but then looked back at you. You’d known about a few of the dates he’d been going on with various women. And it wasn’t even like he liked these women, part of him was hoping that if he dated enough of them, he’d eventually feel something for them.

“I mean, she was cute. The date was nice enough. She was just a little clingy when she wanted to see me again after we, you know.”

“Suguru, you’re such a dog, you sleep with them and then don’t call them huh?” You shook your head in disapproval, trying not to seem hurt by the fact that he was sleeping with all of these random women.

He chuckled a little, ”What’s with the judgement all of a sudden? We’re both adults here. I’m just enjoying myself.”

“Not judging. You’re just like Satoru, you guys are really two peas in a pod.” You chuckled too, to keep it lighthearted.

“You really think I’m like Satoru?” He sounded a little offended that you had just said that.

“Hmm, big bro is a proud player, I don’t think you try to be one but you do cycle through a lot of women.”

Geto huffs, turning away from you and crossing his arms in the process as if he was offended. The way he saw it, it was his business how many people he slept with. But you were right, it was true that he tended to cycle through women. Maybe you had a point…

“Whatever. I’m just living it up, like any guy should be.”

You grinned, a grin that made his heart wrench - he was so in love with you but because you were his best friend’s younger sister, you was off limits. “Sure, if that brings your joy.”

Geto looked back over at you. The way you spoke to him with that soft, teasing look on your face made his heart sink. He was beginning to wonder if maybe his dating was just to fill the void that was inside of him. Maybe he needed to find someone he could connect with on a deeper level. He wanted that person to be you, but he knew you couldn’t be. Satoru would kill him if he got within five feet of his little sister like that. He shivered at the thought.

“Like you’re any better…”

You chuckled and feigned hurt, “I don’t cycle through that many guys you know.”

“Are you sure about that? I’ve heard some pretty interesting rumors about you.”

You let out a hearty laugh as you leaned back on the couch, “Pray do tell, what are these rumours Sugu?”

His heart fluttered whenever you called him that, it’s wrong of him to want you so much but he couldn’t help it. How was he supposed to think of something witty to say when you were making him feel warm and fuzzy inside?

“Oh, you know. Some people have been talking about all of the hot dates you’ve been on. A bit of a flirt. That kind of thing.”

“Mhm…” You grinned cheekily at him, “And how is that any different from you?”

Geto grimaced, looking away. You weren’t wrong really. He was just as promiscuous as you. The only way he was different was that he had zero interest in actually having a deep connection with the women he dated. It was just about the sex, the physical aspect of relationships. A temporary distraction.

“Besides, at least I try to get to know the guy… it’s not my fault it doesn’t work out.” You sighed, staring off into space.

He looked over at you again, curiously scanning your face. His stomach dropped when he saw the look in your eyes, he almost felt guilty. He knew that you had a thing for him for years now but he pretended to be oblivious as to not mess with the dynamics of the friendship. Plus he couldn’t risk losing his best friend, Satoru was just too important to him. You deserved to find someone you could connect with in that way, but he never planned on being that person to you.

Feeling his gaze on you, you look back to him and smile slightly but the smile just doesn’t reach your eyes. He felt an urge to reach out and hold your face. He wanted to caress your cheeks, tell you that he loved you and that he wanted to be that person for you. To kiss you. To hold you. But he didn’t, of course.

Instead, he just smiled back at you, “Maybe you just need to date different kinds of guys then…”

“Hm. Maybe.”

But you knew that wasn’t going to work, since the once you desperately craved and wanted was him. You ached to be with him, be in his arms… no one could ever give you butterflies the same way he does.

Geto can sense it. How badly you wanted him. His breath hitched and the smile that once adorned his beautiful face faded. A flicker of pain crossed his face, as this feeling of not being able to be with you and the realisation that you would always be forever out of his reach hurt like hell.

You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. You sat there with your lips parted, staring into his eyes so lovingly, that they did all the talking. All the words you didn’t dare to utter out loud, your eyes said them for you.

His heart beat a few extra times as he stared into your eyes, looking just as deeply into them as you were. He didn’t need any words, he just knew what was running through your head and his heart wrenched for a second time that evening.

Gojo yawned from the door frame of the living room and trudged towards them, “Damn, that was a good nap. What’d I miss?”

Geto broke eye contact with you immediately, feeling as though he had been caught. His eyes darted towards Gojo and he just shrugged his shoulders.

“Nothing much, just the little one being a menace.”

You faked grin and stared at Gojo, it hurt you whenever he referred to you as ‘little one’ or ‘kid’, “Nothing. We were just talking about how Suguru cycles through women like you.”

Geto rolled his eyes at you, “Shut up.”

Gojo laughed as he plopped down next to Geto, “Hey, ain’t nothing wrong with that, aren’t I right Suguru?” He lazily flung his arm around his shoulder, flashing him a grin.

“Right.”

You shook your head, wrinkling your nose in fake disgust, “The least you can do is not be pigs about it – ghosting women you slept with, really? I swear you guys are the worst.”

“If we’re the worst, I gotta know who the best is.” Geto retorted, eyeing you up a little.

“Me, obviously.” You grinned, your eyes gleaming from the banter.

This time, you really did make him really laugh. Your cockiness wasn’t that bad, actually. He found that it was sometimes even endearing.

“You? The best? What’s so great about you?”

“What’s not great about me?” You puffed out your chest proudly, causing Geto flick your forehead with his fingers. “Hey!”

“Well… your personality kind of sucks.”

He smirked a little, the one you loved so much that it haunted your dreams. Oh, if things could just stay light and playful so that you can stay the hell away from those deep emotions that were threatening to bubble up out of you, that'd be great.

You stuck out your tongue playfully, “Hater.”

Gojo piped up from Geto side after typing on his phone, “Suguru, you ready to hit Sukuna’s for predrinks? Nanami is coming too.”

Geto groaned and sighed a little. Maybe one of these days, he would get to stay in this room and spend the evening with you, alone. But today was not that day. He sighed again and nodded his head.

“Yeah, fine… guess I’m ready. Just need to throw on a shirt.”

He would have rather stayed here with just you and Gojo, but he couldn’t deny that the pre drinks before club hopping would be fun too, especially since he needed to get you out of his head. Or fuck you out of his system. Not with you, of course. As fucked up as it sounded, he’d often approach women who reminded him of you height, frame, and hair colour wise in the club and would pretend that it was you when he was taking them from behind.

You took this opportunity to try your luck in going with them, “Hey! I wanna come!”

Gojo immediately shook his head sternly, “No way. I’m not taking my little sister to a place full of horny guys for pre drinks, let alone the club.”

Geto groaned quietly and rolled his eyes, feeling sympathy for you. It sucked that Gojo was so protective over you to the point where you never got to experience the things they did together. He had been to dozens of clubs filled with drunken, rowdy people and it couldn’t have been that bad, right?

“Come on… she’s an adult! What’s the harm? We’ll just keep an eye on her.”

“Satoru! I’m literally 25, why can’t you just let me tag along…” You jutted your bottom lip out and gave him puppy dog eyes, “Please?”

Geto couldn’t suppress a soft smile and felt himself melt just a little, seeing you like this.

Gojo thought about it for a bit and sighed, “You’re not coming to the pre drinks at Sukuna’s, just come directly to the club and bring Utahime or one of the other girls along. No buts. Take it or leave it.”

As much as you wanted to go out with them all night, this would have to be sufficient for now.

You nodded enthusiastically before scrunching your nose at the reflection in the blank TV screen. “Deal! I still need to get ready anyway so this works out well, I’ll text the girls!”

Gojo nodded and flung his arm around Geto, “Alright, we’re heading out to Sukuna’s now. Text me or Suguru when you guys get to the club ‘kay?”

next chapter ->

⊹˚. ♡ A/N: This is going to be a multi-chapter fanfic, which will have smut (the next chapter will be smutty so ;D) will most likely update it tomorrow

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steddieas-shegoes · 9 months ago

Note

hiii not sure if you’re still taking requests but

no upside down au where teen single dad steve approaches eddie after hellfire bc every parenting stuff keeps mentioning how reading to babies is super important for their development but his dyslexia makes reading so hard let alone be expressive w it too and the kids keep mentioning how eddie is amazing on dnd. eddie is skeptical cause how come no ones has heard of king steve’s one year old ? but he accepts when steve offers paying but after seeing steve w his baby and understanding how he changed he refuses the money and cue them slowly falling in love and becoming a family <333

Sorry this took *checks watch* like 9 months to finish! I kinda took some creative turns, but it's done!

read on ao3

rated t | 5,182 words | no cw | tags: mostly fluff, single parent steve, not canon compliant, mutual pining, getting together, love confessions

📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

Early August 1985

“Steve, it’s not like he’s gonna fuckin’ bite, dude,” Dustin said from the passenger seat.

“Language.”

“She’s not even awake,” Dustin whisper yelled. “I promise he’s cool. The worst he’ll say is no. It’s not like he’s gonna bully you.”

“No one else knows I’m asking him this, right?” Steve was suddenly worried that all the kids knew about Steve’s learning disability and they’d think he was actually stupid and-

“No, it’s just me. But if you don’t hurry up and go in before everyone else gets here, they’ll find out.”

Steve glanced in the backseat, smiling to himself at his sleeping daughter. She’d been out for nearly the entire drive from his house to Dustin’s to the high school, so she’d probably be waking up within the next 20 minutes and she’d be ready to stretch her legs.

She was a squirmy thing from the moment she figured out how to scoot around the floor, and it only got worse when she learned to walk at 11 months. The only time she was still and staying out of trouble was when she was asleep.

“If she starts crying, just sit back there with her. She just likes having company,” Steve reminded him as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Yep. I’ve literally babysat for you before. I can handle her for 5 minutes.”

“Attitude.” Steve shook his head and opened the door, getting out and only closing the door most of the way so it wouldn’t wake her up.

Eddie always showed up 30 minutes early for Hellfire Club to set up according to Dustin. He took this club very seriously, even as a third year senior. He kept it running all summer so that incoming freshmen would have time to get acquainted with his style of DMing or whatever.

Steve respected the dedication, though he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that dedication were put into his homework, he would’ve graduated in May with Steve.

But Steve couldn’t actually judge. Not with the fact that he was pretty close to not graduating himself. He had a pretty good reason, but still.

The auditorium door closed loudly behind him, making him jump and clench his jaw painfully.

“Door’s broken. You gotta hold it while it closes so it doesn’t slam,” a voice said from the door to the backstage area.

Steve squinted through the semi-darkness and felt his stomach turn. Eddie.

“I guess it’s been a while since I’ve had to open it. Figured they would have fixed it by now,” Steve replied, walking closer to the guy he needed to talk to.

“No shit! Is that King Steve? In the flesh?” Eddie’s dramatics were endearing, even if it was slightly annoying that he pulled out the stupid high school nickname he’d lost well before he graduated.

“Yeah,” Steve sighed. This wasn’t gonna go well.

“Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but none of your precious kiddos have made it yet. It’s still early.”

Steve nodded. “One of them’s sitting in my car in the parking lot. Um, Henderson? He’s an incoming freshman.”

“Ah. Dustin’s got a place in Hellfire if you’re worried. I don’t turn anyone away who wants to be here.”

“No, no, that’s not it.” Steve needed to just spit it out. “He said you’re like, great at storytelling or whatever. Like you’re the best DM he’s ever seen and he knows I could use those skills for something.”

“Oh? What could Steve Harrington need DM skills for?”

“My daughter.”

The silence following his confession was louder than the door slamming only a minute ago.

He probably could’ve revealed his motives a little better, work up to the fact that he even had a daughter maybe. Very few people actually knew, and he had to keep it that way until he could leave his parent’s house.

“Your…daughter.”

“Yes. She’s just turned one and the doctors said reading to her is like, super important for learning words and helping her learn how to have an imagination and stuff. And I do read to her!” Steve suddenly felt worried that Eddie would think he was a bad parent. “I try to. But I’m, well, Nancy says it’s dyslexia? So words are kinda hard and it gives me a headache if I try to read for more than a few minutes and I’m so busy focusing on the words I don’t think I’m making it very fun for her-“

“Woah. Steve. Slow down.” Eddie braced his hand on Steve’s shoulder and squeezed. “I didn’t even know you had a daughter. Does anyone know you have a daughter?”

“The kids do, yeah. My parents do because they kinda helped cover it all up and made sure I still graduated so I didn’t embarrass them or whatever.” Steve looked down at the floor, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn’t really want to go through the whole thing with this guy. “Robin Buckley knows? She’s my best friend. The Byers and Wheelers, Hopper. Some teachers know but were sworn to secrecy.”

“Huh.”

Steve looked up to see Eddie stepping closer to him, soft smile on his face.

“So what do you need me for exactly?”

“Dustin said you’re really good at telling stories and I figured maybe you would be willing to read to her? Not every day, like I can work with your schedule or whatever. Evening would be best for me, but it’s not really a big deal if it has to be other times. She comes to work with me so if it had to be during the day, you could sit in the office or something, I dunno.” Steve shrugged. He hated asking for help. But Dustin insisted Eddie was actually a good guy and would keep his secret. No one who saw her at work assumed Steve Harrington was a single parent at 18. That would just be absurd. “I just don’t want her to miss out.”

Eddie’s hand drifted down his arm, holding his hand for a moment before he stepped back.

“My schedule is kinda random. But I’m sure we can work something out.”

Steve’s shoulders fell as his body relaxed. “Yeah? I can pay you. Not much. My parents mostly cut me off.” Steve was scrambling. “I can give you gas money and stuff for having to come to us. And like, food? I can cook.”

Eddie’s eyes were intense, watching his every move, making him nervous.

“How ‘bout a free trial? I’ll do it for a couple weeks and then we can see about payment.”

Steve nodded eagerly. “Yeah, yeah. Cool.” Jesus, he was embarrassing. What happened to his charm? “Would you be able to start soon?”

“Normally, I’d say I can come by after Hellfire, but I have an…appointment right after tonight. I can come by tomorrow?”

Steve smiled. “Tomorrow’s good. I work until five.”

“I can be at your house by seven.”

“Great! I have plenty of books. Right now, she’s really into Old Macdonald, but I think it’s just because it sorta sounds like her name and we get to make silly noises,” Steve smiled to himself, not seeing the way Eddie was smiling too. “I think she’ll probably like whatever you read to her, though.”

“What’s her name?”

“Mackenzie. Robin read it in a book and said it meant fire-born or something? It sounded cool. We call her Mac or Kenzie for short so she hears Macdonald and thinks we’re giving her another nickname,” Steve laughed. “Anyway, I better get back to the car. If she’s awake and Dustin has to deal with her crying for too long, he gets an attitude.”

“Mackenzie. I like it.” Eddie nodded once. “See you tomorrow, Stevie.”

Steve agreed and waved, turning around to leave. By the time he realized Eddie’s nickname for him, Eddie was already backstage.

****

Steve was nervous.

He nearly burnt the chicken he was cooking for dinner just from getting distracted by thoughts of Eddie being in his home.

He didn’t even know why. Maybe it was the fact that he’d always thought Eddie was kinda rough around the edges and was surprised he’d agreed so easily. Maybe it was bringing someone new into the small group he’d had around for a couple years. Maybe it was the way Eddie’s hand on his shoulder seemed to leave a permanent mark despite being one of the softest touches he’d felt from another adult in a while.

Mackenzie was in her high chair already, eating some of the noodles he’d made as a side. She’d been practicing using a fork, so quite a few had fallen on the floor, but Steve still smiled and told her she did a great job any time she managed to get one to her mouth.

The doorbell rang and Steve felt his heart stop.

“Daddy!” Mackenzie squealed when the bell rang. She knew that usually meant Hopper was here. Everyone else just came inside on their own. “Hop!”

“No, baby, not Hop. Not tonight. It’s my friend, Eddie. He’s gonna tell you a fun story, okay?” Steve ran his hands through her hair as he walked by to get the door.

When he opened the door, Eddie was standing there with a handful of books, a box of crayons, and what looked like a hairbow.

“I’m here to entertain the princess!” Eddie exclaimed. “Lead me to her highness!”

Steve couldn’t hide the grin on his face if he wanted to. “She’s currently trying to stab noodles to death. I’m sure you’ll be entertained.”

“Ah, they must have wronged her. I’ll assist,” Eddie made his way past Steve, walking towards the kitchen.

Steve knew he’d been to a couple of the parties he threw to sell, but had no idea he remembered the layout of his house. Maybe he had one of those picture minds.

As Steve entered the kitchen, he noticed that Eddie had set down the pile of books on the counter before he sat down in front of Mackenzie.

There were a few books he recognized: an ABC book that he was pretty sure he’d had when he was a kid but had since lost, a book of fairy tales with Rapunzel on the cover, something by Beatrix Potter, and a couple of coloring books that featured princesses and dragons and horses.

“She isn’t really old enough to color, is she?” Steve asked, interrupting what must have been a very amusing conversation of mostly babbling. “I don’t have any coloring stuff.”

“Coloring with skill? No. She definitely doesn’t have the motor skills to color in the lines or even use the right colors for the right things. But it does help her learn how to hold a crayon. My uncle couldn’t really afford much when I was a baby, so for every Christmas until I was in school he would get me new crayons and coloring books. I don’t really remember how I did, but I do remember having fun.” Eddie turned back to Mackenzie. “And sometimes it’s fun to just make a mess, right?”

Mackenzie clapped her hands together, sending the toddler fork she’d been using to the floor with a noodle attached to it. Steve wordlessly grabbed one of her spoons from the drawer and gave it to her, kissing the top of her head before he knelt down to pick up the fork.

Eddie watched silently, something soft about the way he didn’t interrupt anything even though he could’ve kept talking.

“I made chicken and pasta. It’s probably not my best work, but I made enough for you if you haven’t eaten yet,” Steve offered as he walked to the stove to start plating the food for himself.

“I wouldn’t turn it down. Wayne’s not exactly known for serving five star meals,” Eddie joked. “He believes in the power of fried bologna and cheese sandwiches with a bag of chips.”

Steve grimaced. “Okay, well I made enough for you to bring home some leftovers too.”

“You don’t have to-”

“You’re taking home leftovers.”

Steve turned to see Eddie’s widened eyes and open mouth that slowly formed into a smile.

“I guess I’m taking home some leftovers.” He turned to Mackenzie and tickled her neck. “Your daddy is pushy isn’t he?”

Steve blushed, but continued making up a plate for Eddie.

As they sat and ate, Eddie talked about all of his favorite books for little kids, and how he remembered sneaking into the library after school for years because he knew he didn’t wanna go home. He talked about the first time a teacher wrote a positive letter home, an English teacher who said his fictional essay was the best in the class and he should consider writing as a career. He even talked about his plans for the school year campaigns, but made Steve swear not to mention anything to the kids.

“I’ll know if you tell them,” Eddie winked.

Steve believed him.

When they were done, Steve grabbed Mackenzie from her chair.

“I’m gonna give her a quick bath if you wanna bring all that stuff to her room. Second floor, third door on the right. It’s a little messy right now. Someone decided to pull all her toys from her box yesterday and I haven’t had time to clean it up,” Steve tickled Mackenzie’s side, making her giggle and turn her head into his shoulder.

“You need me to clean this up?” Eddie asked, gesturing to the table.

“Nah, I’ll do it while you read to her.”

Despite his efforts, bath time was never truly quick. Mackenzie loved to splash around and play with her toys, and if he tried to wash her hair too quickly, she would be grumpy for the rest of the night. He definitely didn’t want that for Eddie.

He set a timer for 10 minutes and tried to explain to a very excited Mackenzie that when the timer went off, it would be time to wash her hair and get out.

“You wanna have time to play with Eddie, so we can’t play for too long in the water.”

She didn’t seem to pay any attention to him, already too busy making her rubber duck fight with her mermaid Barbie.

He observed while she played, bringing in the rubber car she liked to pretend to drive on the side of the tub.

When the timer went off, she let him wash her hair without a fuss, and he quickly wrapped her up in a towel to get her into pajamas.

Eddie was waiting in her room when he got there, coloring books spread out on the floor. He smiled up at them from where he sat, legs crossed, hands in his lap.

“Squeaky clean?” He asked, waving at Mackenzie.

“Definitely lacking noodles in places noodles shouldn’t be at least,” Steve said, making his way to her changing table to get her dressed. “She must be pretty excited about you being here. Usually bath time takes at least 30 minutes and I have to bribe her with chocolate milk to get out.”

“She knows we’re gonna have a lot of fun. I think I’m gonna read Goodnight Moon first. That’s one of my favorites.”

“She’ll love that,” he said as he buttoned the snaps of her onesie.

As soon as he set her on the floor next to Eddie, she reached for a coloring book with a mermaid on it.

“Daddy! Muh!”

“Yeah, baby, it’s a mermaid! Just like your doll in the bath.” Steve pointed to the fish next to the mermaid. “And that’s a fish. Fish swim in the ocean.”

He felt Eddie’s eyes on him while he pointed to some other sea creatures and told Mackenzie what they were.

Eventually, he looked over at Eddie, blushing at the soft smile on his face. “What?”

“You’re a really good dad, Steve.”

“Oh. Uh. Thanks,” Steve felt heat flood his body.

It’s not that no one had ever said that to him. Robin had told him plenty of times, Joyce had whispered it to him when no one else was paying attention, even Hopper had given him a handshake and said he was doing a good job once. But hearing it from Eddie, in this situation, when he’d been feeling like such a failure lately, was enough to make him want to cry.

He had to get out of this room.

“I should go clean up and leave you to it.”

“Sure, yeah. We’ll be right here.”

Steve booked it out of the room, rushing down the stairs to try to get busy with cleaning before his brain settled on crying over a compliment.

But the table was cleared. The high chair was wiped down. When he turned to the sink, the dishes were stacked up to dry in the rack. The counters were wiped, the dish towel had been put back on the handle of the oven to dry, and leftovers had been put in a container to finish cooling down.

Steve let the tears fall.

Fuck it, if Eddie was going to be this nice, he could have a little cry.

He walked quietly to the bathroom to put all the bath toys in the basket, but stopped outside Mackenzie’s bedroom when he heard giggling.

He’d closed the door halfway, just so she wouldn’t get too distracted if he walked by the room, but he couldn’t help looking in.

He felt like crying again when he saw Mackenzie sitting on Eddie’s lap, pointing at something in the book.

“Where’s the moon?” Eddie asked.

“Moo!” Mackenzie said, smacking at a place in the book.

“There’s the moon! Good job, little one.” Mackenzie leaned back against Eddie’s chest. “And where’s the…toys?”

She pointed again, but slightly less enthusiastically. Steve could see her energy dropping quickly.

He watched as Eddie told her she did a good job again and then continued reading.

Her eyes drooped more with every page. Eddie’s voice got closer to a whisper with every sentence.

Steve fell just a little bit more with every second that passed.

*****

October 1985

Eddie came every day. Despite the fact that Steve insisted he didn’t need to, that he didn’t want to ruin his schedule, Eddie showed up like clockwork at seven every single evening.

Steve learned to expect him, always made enough dinner for all of them to enjoy before Mackenzie had her bath and then got to read with Steve.

Every night, Eddie would clean up while she took a bath, and every night, he’d let her pick a page to color while he read something to her, switching to a bedtime story when she started crawling into his lap.

Steve would watch them often, laying down on the carpet and smiling as he listened to Eddie use different voices for characters, asking her questions so she was involved, and whispering when she started to drift off.

Other times, he’d try to get something done he’d been putting off, like cleaning the bathroom or folding laundry.

Eddie never accepted payment.

Steve tried bringing it up once school started, certain that this time spent here could’ve been better spent on homework or a part-time job that paid better than what Steve could offer. Eddie just shook his head and insisted that other than Hellfire every Thursday, he would be there for free.

They got to know each other over dinner, and Steve found that he was right to have butterflies every time Eddie smiled at him, every time he would touch his hand as he walked by to say hi to Mackenzie.

“Halloween costume ideas?” Eddie asked with his mouth full. Steve had given up long ago on trying to get him to wait until he was done chewing. It wasn’t that big of a deal. “What did this little miss go as last year?”

“Oh. She was a bumblebee.” Steve smiled at the memory. “Cutest costume I saw all night.”

“I bet.” Eddie took a sip of his water. “And you?”

“Oh, I didn’t dress up.”

“What? Why not?” Eddie sounded genuinely upset.

“Just got away from me, I guess? By the time I thought about it, nothing good was left at the store,” Steve shrugged, unbothered. He’d never been that into Halloween. His focus was making sure Mackenzie had fun.

“And no one offered to help you make something?” Eddie was no longer eating and Mackenzie had turned her attention to him when his tone became serious.

“I didn’t ask.”

“But no one offered.” Eddie stood up and walked over to his backpack. “Okay, we’ve gotta plan. Did you already pick something for her?”

He came back holding a notebook and a pencil, brows set in a straight line. Steve had never seen him look so serious.

“I had a few ideas, but I wanted to let her pick something at the store,” Steve said.

“Lay them on me.”

They discussed costumes for the next 30 minutes, but after only 10, Mackenzie whined to get out of her chair. Eddie wordlessly stood up and picked her up, setting her in his lap and letting her poke and prod at him and his notebook.

Steve watched them both, accepting for the first time that this wasn’t just a crush that was gonna go away.

He’d fallen completely head over heels for Eddie, and he had no clue what to do about it.

*****

November 1985

Steve was the only one who had space to host Thanksgiving.

He became manic a week before, realizing that his work schedule would not allow him to have much time to clean unless he did it at night. The problem was that he would get a migraine if he didn’t sleep.

“So let’s work on it together. I can come right after school. Cancel Hellfire this week,” Eddie offered.

“But you already won’t have it next week because of Thanksgiving. I can’t ask you to-”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. If I’m gonna be eating here, I should probably help clean up at least.”

So they worked on a little at a time.

Eddie wasn’t always helpful, getting distracted by some of the smallest things. But his company was appreciated all the same.

“You could invite Wayne, ya know,” Steve offered while he dusted the shelves in the living room. “Plenty of room and food.”

“Thanks, but he always works Thanksgiving day for the double pay. We usually do something the day after,” Eddie answered while he cleaned up all of Mackenzie’s toys.

“If he decides not to work, just let him know.”

“Will do, Stevie.”

He didn’t just help clean, he helped him do the shopping, too.

“I know it’s way harder with a baby, so if you give me a list, I can handle the shopping,” Eddie said while Steve plated their dinners.

“You don’t-”

“Have to, I know. But I can and will.” Eddie’s hand brushed against Steve’s lower back. “Let me help.”

Steve could barely resist the shiver that took over his entire body.

“Okay. Sure.”

Some of the brands were wrong, and he forgot the apples for the apple pie, but Steve still felt immense relief knowing that he had someone to help.

And without it, Thanksgiving would’ve been a disaster.

It was still a bit of a mess, but that was mostly because the kid’s table turned into a food fight that Max started and Mackenzie, of course, continued, until everyone was involved.

But the picture Jonathan took would get framed and hang up near the fireplace in the living room anyway.

******

December 1985

“I cannot believe you waited until Christmas Eve to wrap gifts. That’s not what parents actually do, is it?” Eddie asked as he fought with the tape dispenser for the fifth time in less than an hour.

“I don’t know if I’m the best judge of what parents do. Mine weren’t around much and probably didn’t even wrap my gifts themselves.” Steve took the tape from him, pulled some loose from the roll, and handed it back. “But I kinda always pictured it like this.”

Robin made him swear he’d talk to Eddie about his feelings before the end of the year. The end of the year was soon, real soon.

What better shot did he have than while Mackenzie was asleep and they were wrapping presents together?

“You pictured last minute wrapping with bribed help in your living room?” Eddie asked, amusement in his tone.

“Not exactly,” Steve huffed out a laugh. “More like spoiling my kid with someone I care about.”

Steve watched Eddie’s hands freeze against the clothes box full of new finger puppets they’d both gotten her. He looked over and felt his stomach swoop as Eddie’s eyes found his.

“Stevie-” Eddie set the box down and turned to face Steve.

“Wait, I just. Before you break my heart, hear me out.” Steve already felt his world shrinking, his heart rabbiting in his chest at the thought of losing Eddie entirely. “I’ve spent a lot of time with you for months. Like, more than almost anyone else. I’ve watched you with Kenzie, and how much she loves you and always asks for ‘Ed’ even when it’s way before when you’re gonna be here. You make me smile and laugh and that’s not always easy to do these days. You helped me when you didn’t have to, when you had absolutely no reason to trust that King Steve was a better person. You’re there for all the other kids even though you’re trying to get through school for real this time. I didn’t really plan a big speech, sorry. This is just rambling, I’m doing what Robin does.”

“It’s okay,” Eddie placed his hand on the side of Steve’s neck. “I get what you’re saying.”

“You do?”

“I think so.” Eddie stepped in closer. “But I think you might just be lonely.”

It stung. It wasn’t inaccurate, but it still hurt to think Eddie thought so little of him.

“I think I know how I feel.”

Eddie’s hand dropped from his neck and he took a step back. “I don’t wanna argue, Stevie. I just think you might need to separate yourself from the situation. I’m just always around, ya know?”

“You’re always around because I want you around!” Steve was just a bit too loud, but he knew Mackenzie was a heavy sleeper. “When you aren’t here, I check the clock to know when you will be. I get excited to leave work now because I’m not coming home to do the same thing I always did before. I get to see you and hear about your day and talk to you about mine and see you with my daughter, who probably loves you as much as I do.”

“You…love me?”

“Yes. I do. And I promise it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I still want you here, reading to Kenzie. But I know how I feel. I know why I feel the way I do. You can’t tell me how to feel.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to.” Eddie sighed. “I’m just kinda surprised. Didn’t expect you to be into guys, let alone me. I’m not exactly good boyfriend material. Or stepparent material, either.”

“Oh, fuck that. You’re more her other parent than her mom ever was. She gave her to me the moment she had her and wished me luck before her entire family moved across the country.” Steve felt tears in his eyes. “I trust you. I want you around. I love you.”

Eddie swallowed, eyes pointed towards the carpet.

A minute passed, two. It was rapidly approaching awkward when finally Eddie spoke.

“But I’m so bad at wrapping presents.”

Steve snorted, but felt relief wash over him. “I can do the wrapping. This Christmas, next Christmas, as many Christmases as you’ll stay.”

“All of them?”

“Sounds good to me.” Steve leaned in slowly, let his hands grasp at the front of Eddie’s shirt to pull him closer. “How many Christmases do kids usually believe in Santa?”

“I dunno. I stopped believing when I caught my dad stealing the two presents under our tree when I was four.” Eddie let his hands fall to Steve’s hips. “But something tells me the little princess will be a believer for a while. Better get used to me ripping holes in the paper and using too much tape.”

“Think I can handle it.”

Every time Steve had pictured kissing Eddie before this, he’d thought it would be like any other first kiss, maybe a little awkward since it was his first with a guy.

Instead, it was soft, sweet, slow, perfect. He’d kissed a lot of girls in high school, had kissed them well. Not all of them were great, but even a less than good kiss was still decent.

This was more than any other kiss he’d ever had.

Eddie held him like he would never let go, like this kiss would last forever.

It couldn’t, but that’s how it felt.

When they finally pulled apart, Steve rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“You wanna stay tonight? We can both do the Santa gifts with Kenzie before all the kids bother us,” Steve asked.

“I should call Wayne. I told him I’d be home by midnight.”

“He can come over in the morning, too,” Steve said. “If you want.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for Wayne? He can be a little…gruff.”

“I’m not worried,” Steve kissed Eddie’s cheek. “Hopper’s basically my dad. Plus, Mac’s got a way of breaking the tough old men down.”

“Bets?”

Steve pulled away and started wrapping another present before he got too distracted. “I give it ten minutes.”

“Oh, how generous. I’m giving it five.”

They both laughed as Eddie decided he’d be more help putting already wrapped presents in her stocking and under the tree and making sure everything was put away when Steve was done.

And for the first time, Eddie stayed the night, holding Steve against his chest while they slept.

They both cried when Mackenzie opened her presents excitedly. She was too little to do it herself last year, so seeing her tear through the paper and find joy in throwing it around the room was like a dream come true for Steve.

Eddie admitted he felt like he was intruding for some of it, but Steve quickly reminded him that he was the first person she toddled over to with her new set of princess books and said “Ed, read.”

She sat in his lap right then, even though she still had quite a few presents to open, and he read every single book to her, making her giggle with his high-pitched voices for the princesses and silly accent for the prince.

By the time the kids were coming through the front door, Steve was rushing to shush them, pointing at the couch where Eddie was passed out with Mackenzie curled up against his side.

Steve was never happier than in this moment.

Until the next one, and the one after that.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #anon request #fluff #domestic fluff #single parent steve harrington #getting together #love confessions

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soni-dragon · 27 days ago

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Eye of the Pheonix is actually one of the best merlin episodes because:

merlin and Gwen besties shenanigans; “what’s he actually thinking about” “you”

cold open to the most tender merthur scene

Merlin sleeping outside all knight for arthur

Hiccuping scene and arthur getting so annoyed

“But the perilous lands are… perilous”

“The task is meant to be completed alone and unaided” the start of the best continuing joke of all time

Putting the rest under a cut cause it’s long

Little morgwen moment in the market i love (one of the last we get….)

Cute arthur and gwen scene! Hehe

This is just the shipping episode of all time everyone wins

“You’ll need help” and the first thing merlin does is go find gwaine

smiles “hello, gwaine” “ah, merlin :)”

Immediately puts an arm around merlin

Throws merlin off a roof. this is what merwaine is all about :)

Gwaine is still Gwaine and not whatever the writers did to him after becoming a knight

Bridge guy (Grettir) is great and Arthur’s “no I’m prince arthur of camelot” i love you you’re so dense sometimes

“You need strength and magic” and then gwaine and merlin come along and NO ONE seems to think two seconds more about the implications

“ive been to almost every tavern” “so have i” you’re telling me merlin spent all that time looking for specifically gwaine to help him when he knows arthur is in danger

ANOTHER MORGWEN SCENE (ik morgana just wants her to leave) but we weren’t completely robbed

Arthur not realizing that he feels like shit and thinking hmm that’s weird, this is THE dense, damsel in distress arthur episode

Gwaine is two feet away are you really telling me he didn’t hear bridge guy call merlin Magic

“Strength has arrived the trio is complete” immeidate sword draw

But also the establishment of them as a trio i really love and they never did anything else with it

Gwaine with the flowers :))

THE ENTIREY OF THE FIRE SCENE

*THE* MERWAINE SCENE EVER

“a pheasant” gwaine please

“Why do you want to do this?” cause he’s in love with you merlin

“Same reason as you” (hesitates) (eye contact) “help a friend”

“arthurs lucky to have us”

…

“not arthur” SCREAMING

we’re back to the fond looks

gwaines tiny nod of assurance when merlin looks at him like ??! after he says not arthur

“youre the only friend i have” and i couldnt bear to lose you

Gwen finding out morgana has magic

“she’s changed” break my heart why don’t you (i dont want you to change) BRING HER BACKKK this is making me miss the arc morgana could have had so badly

They caught up to arthur SO FAST goes to show how arthurs going through it

Not wyvern they have four legs actually (tho their designs are cool)

This would have been such a good episode for gwaine to learn merlin is a dragonlord & has magic

Arthur conveniently is knocked out (as always) when merlin does cool magic stuff to save him

When merlin orders them to go and they bow their heads and walk away they look like kicked puppies

The famous arthur waking up to merlins silly little smile and being 100% not appreciative

whatthehellareYOUdoinghere? why can’t you ever just say thanks? augh THANKS!whatforcompLeTlYrUiNiNgThEqUeSt?!

i am supposed to be doing this ALONEEEE

“Are gwen and morgana here too? we going to have a surprise party?” i love you sassy arthur and yes you absolutely should have a surprise party

Do you want us to help you or do you want to do this ~aloneeee~

MERLIN!

The little smile and nod like yeah they got him

“this is a quest merlin not a treasure hunt” well it is sort of- “MERLIN.”

How is that one stone completely sound proof

The cockroaches are icky but y’all have gloves its not that bad you couldn’t even feel them

Set up with the water of avalon and something that actually follows into later episodes

“Merlin.” + arthur doesn’t want to show he actually cares about him vs. gwaine pulling him into a hug

“look what i found” merlin and gwaine shared looks of no you didn’t

The trios conversation at the end i love their dynamics + merlins pause and genuine thanks

Eoin macken looking pretty <33 (he always does)

Merlins little overview of the quest hes so excited awww

Immediate shift to sassy merlin the Duality

I wish Gwen knowing about morgana’s magic would have been explored more i want to see her join gaius and merlin in plotting and going on little quests

Anyways yeah to conclude i miss Gwaine sm :(

#soni rambles #bbc merlin #Merlin #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #prince arthur #merthur #merwaine #bbc merlin gwen #morgwen #sir gwaine #gwaine

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satoruhour · 1 year ago

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🪻ugh your drabble about sore reader reminded of this one hc I think of so much that it’s embarrassing. Imagine gojo getting on sorcerer!reader’s nerves to the point that she and utahime almost have an anti-gojo hate club, and one time while bantering with him she jokes about his size or how he’s so self centred he probably can’t even make a woman cum.

Satoru only says “wanna see what I’m all about?” and safe to say she gets dicked down like there’s no tomorrow. Throughout the night he also makes fun of her for being all talk in the beginning but cumming so easily, makes her beg for it, will never let her live it down. Next day Utahime’s real pissed she lost her club’s vice chairperson.

My kitty isn’t even purring atp she’s meowing loud and crystal clear. Satoru who’s smug and a big tease in bed is so unbelievably sexy to me

a/n: discussions of incompetent dick game LMAO, oral f! receiving, fingering, p -> v sex, unprotected sex, creampies, multiple rounds

OHHHH MY GOD YOURE SO RIGHT ACTUALLY HYACINTH ANON sorry i took so long to get to this sobs. yes yesyes id like to think sorcerer was with them before but left the scene like nanami and never truly kept in touch with the students at tokyo high. id also like to think this happens before the actual series starts (ages 24 - 25) bc gojo might still be honing his technique and theres still that playful banter at that age. god and they have a school reunion and he does some annoying crap dude.... utahime is DEFINITELY debriefing with you after that whole thing. shes by your side the whole night recalling on the stupid shit gojo did as a hs kid, when he collapsed that mansion without putting up the veil. you had to calm her down LMFAO

but at the reunion there was alcohol and you both get hiiiiigh and all things get 18+ almost immediately, talking about how gojo def cant find the clit and he fingers women wrongly and cant make any use of his dick thats probs small 😭😭😭 which is like ... you also have an inkling that he might not be that small because he is .... 2 metres tall but ya never know with how cocky gojo is. and that inkling is gone instantly when u hear him talk cause his voice is so ANNOYING and dripping with cockiness. he also has that certain lilt in his voice that you realise he uses only with you, overly teasing and silky smooth and u hate how you notice that

gojo is fucked up as well, u know he doesnt hold his liqour well but hes sober enough to ask “wanna see what im all about?” and you especially hate how you look around to see where hime is at and when u just catch a glimpse of her heading into the bathroom, youre nodding slowly and you do nooooot know what youre getting urself into !

needless to say, gojo is already getting u so hot and bothered just from a simple kiss. he warped you two back to your apartment (bc he rather die than get found out by megs and tsumiki), which he has been to before !!!!! gods even the tension back then was so palpable but gojo was in a vulnerable place with geto and everything and didnt want to do anything that would hurt his heart more. you two make out for A WHILLLEEEE and if ure wondering if hes alr so good at kissing, what else is he good at ....?

youre proven wrong time and time again when gojo goes striaght for your clit, rubbing slow circles and he has u begging for more, more something just mere rubs. gojo has the gall to lick a stripe up your soaked panties and sucks a little at your clit and god he is LOVING the way all your previous insults about him fall short of your lips and doesnt have the same punch: “still doesnt prove your dick’s b-big—” gojo lips your panties to the side and eats you out. he eats. you. out. to prove a point but also he falls in love with your pussy, slobbering all over it and shit. “didnt tell my your pussy was so good, baby.” “cat got your tongue? do i live up to your standards?”

you realise hes cocky for a reason and that his tongue game is fucking insane. the same goes for his fingers, locking eyes when he first inserts his digits in and your moan is like heaven to gojo bc he likes nothing more than to prove people wrong. and this is the best way to do it !!!! “cum on my tongue, sweetness.” oh YOU DO !!! YOU DOOOOOO

and then you think gojos done with making his statement. nah. youre so fucked out just from oral and hes smirking down at you, bringing your hands to his crotch.

“what?”

“wan’ you to open my pants yourself.”

“so it’s small?”

gojo scoffs with a smile, he already finds himself addicted to you and your taste. “no. just curious to see your surprised face.”

it gets him off every time (even after dating. and cmon dont tell me you WONT be his gf or at least his fwb after this?) you react like that, mouth open and eyes never leaving his exposed cock that he could probably slam it inside.

wee woo and once he starts to fuck you ooohhhhhhggggghhh eveyrthing you say is INCOHERENT. you try to string words together, insults and name calling here and there but it’s always interrupted by moans and whines. “you’re so— mmhfuck— insanely anno— satoru!” its words and words but none of them make sense. youre drunk on his cock. he fucks you in every position imaginable and the first time he wants to pull out bc he isnt an asshole, you're trapping him between your legs and begging him to cum inside, inside, inside WOOOOWWW HE GOES INSANE.

“i’m on the pill, s-satoru! wan’ your cum inside, please, please—”

“you’re driving me fucking c—crazy. i will, i will.”

anyway yeah you guys go multiple rounds and youre rendered speechless at every turn, surprised at yourself that even when youre spent youre sinking down on his cock and riding him yourself right after you both came. everythings sticky and gross and gojos still sensitive but hes hooked on your pussy and lets you do whatever <33

the next morning u wake up caged in his arms and hes saying something annoying again. “wanna make this a regular thing?” and you attempt to reject him, pushing him away and getting up from your bed but youre sore everrywherreeee and he swoops in just as youre about to fall. “dick too good, huh?” you roll your eyes and just let yourself be pampered by him. you spend that next day just making out and being close to each other and u wonder what to tell utahime LMFOAAOAOA

you end up getting a few missed calls after gojo had sent a selfie of you both, blanket covering your naked bodies after doing the obvious and he just chucks ur phone to the side and continues to kiss you LMAOAOAOAO. oh sigh thats such a nice scenario maybe ill write it properly one day

hello hello!

#🪻 anon #asks #gojo smut #gojo x reader #gojo satoru smut #gojo x you #satoru gojo x reader

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dykesynthezoid · 6 months ago

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I say this with 100% awareness that sometimes fandom likes to run with things based off of minimal subtext but I rlly truly don’t get. The majority of the arguments for why we wouldn’t get devil’s minion in the past? Lmao

Like the one (1) reason I can actually see us not getting it is just there not being enough screentime to go around. That’s not unthinkable to me at all; there’s a lot to potentially cover next season. But like, I literally can’t think of any other good reason for them to not do it.

And I think it’s worth saying that I wouldn’t be doing this kind of theorizing with any other show. It’s specifically bc this show likes to drop easter eggs and clues, likes to sew in little details, and also is not afraid of going all out, that I feel like I can take the things I pick up on seriously. Cause yeah, if this were another show, it might genuinely mean nothing, bc a lot of other shows just aren’t written with that enthusiasm or attention to detail or courage to Go Places.

And I also think it should be noted that like. While the show is certainly plenty different from the book(s), their modus operandi when it comes to adaptation is much more to add than to take away. They added old Daniel, added Loumand still being together, added a shit ton of extra small bits to Claudia’s arc. Their method of adaptation is not one of subtraction. They’re not taking away whole character beats and plot events. They’re adding, adding new situations, new settings, new contexts.

And that “adding” extends to character relationships as well. They built that danlou best friends/sexual tension out of the almost-nothing in the source material. Armand and Santiago (apparently) slept together. They’re not taking away interesting side dynamics that existed in the books, they’re literally adding more.

Like why wouldn’t they add past devils minion?? It only makes Armand and Daniel’s present relationship that much more complicated and insane, which is the exact thing this show loves to do.

Not to mention DM is only one chapter, by which I mean; if the argument against past devils minion is just screentime, like I personally think it is, we should also remember that. It’s only one chapter. It’s not that much additional material. And about a fourth of it is Daniel’s turning and the lead up to that, which we know would instead be in the modern day, not in flashback; and another several pages are Armand keeping Daniel trapped in a cellar, which 2x05 has already done. So like. It’s not that much material they’d have to cover to do past devils minion. Like, half an episode altogether at most, frankly, and they could easily spread that all out as they pleased. And this is after season 2 spent an entire episode just on the events during and immediately post 1973 interview. Which they did not have to do. It was a choice to add that material.

Idk sometimes ppl act like it’s soooo crazy for people to be theorizing DM happened in the past and I’m like I literally don’t think it is? And trust me I get that sometimes people get shipping goggles on, and it’s annoying when people make everything about a ship, etc, (but also that’s literally just how fandom is in general? idk what you expect), but. Idk man it doesn’t seem that wild to me in comparison to some of the places the show has been willing to go? And meanwhile like half of you keep insisting Raglan James is Marius. Some of you even thought Sam might be Santino. Theorizing about past DM does not seem that weird to me. Like I am literally just watching the show and Noticing Details and coming up with a possible outcome. It’s whatever

#I think ppl almost doubt it happening BC some people want it so bad #like some kind of fortune telling based on past fandom experiences? it’s v interesting #daniel molloy #armand #iwtv tv #armandaniel #devil’s minion #iwtv

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deansapplepie · 2 months ago

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Who’s the one staring now?

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Hovarth!Reader

Warnings: mention of adoption, mentions of parents death, first little fight of our staring couple. 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

A/N: third part to my series of shorts The Staring Contest, continuation to Watcha lookin at? and Looking good, Dixon!

You were bored. Pretty and deeply bored, so when you heard the younger Dixon was going to hunt without his brother, you thought… why not going with him? You asked him and he tried to find ways of not taking you with him without saying ‘no’.

“Do ya have a weapon besides that shitty knife?” You didn’t, but in a minute you got a riffle with your father and he ran out of excuses, or maybe he just wanted you to go and see how it went.

And that’s the reason why you were now following him on the woods, eyes on his broad shoulders, shamelessly staring every time his arms flexed and contracted to put a new arrow on his crossbow. “Did ya come to hunt or to stare at me?” Even if he couldn’t see, he could feel the weight of your eyes on him. Don’t get him wrong, he liked this staring game between both of you, but hunting was basically his job and it annoyed him not having it done seriously and efficiently.

“Can’t I do both?” You answered trying your luck.

“You can, if ya were actually hunting something. Do you even know how to use that thing?” He stopped and pointed out your riffle.

“Think my dad would have lent me if I didn’t?” You answered challenging.

“I have no idea what yer dad would have done or not, sunshine. What I know is we’re here to hunt and that’s what we’re doing, if yer not taking it seriously you’d better go back.” His eyes burned on you and somehow you knew this time you had really pissed him.

“Who’s the one staring now?” Even your guts telling you to stop you just kept going and that’s it, you managed successfully to reach his boiling point.

“Everything is a joke to ya, isn’t it? Not everyone was born with a silver spoon on their mouth and in case you didn’t notice the world went to shit and there’s people depending on what we hunt to survive.” Here he was jumping to assumptions.

“Wow, you really made a research on me. Even in the middle of the apocalypse, I’m impressed. Can you please share where this silver spoon is? I wouldn’t know cause I never met my biological parents.” Here he was was taken aback, you were adopted. “Even if… if my father had money and was rich, do you think we would be hiding in a quarry?”

“I… ok, I’m feeling like an asshole now.” He confessed unable to take his eyes from you as it has always been since he landed them on you.

“You should, cause you were one. Did your mom never taught you to not judge a book by its cover?” And here there were you stepping on unknown lands and risking your neck.

“No, she died when I was 8.” He simply answered letting you without a single word to say back to him. “Who’s the asshole now?

Wanna be added to my tag list? Let me know. (Please tell me if you want to be tagged on everything or just specific series) Everything Taglist: @lilyevanstan1325 @hayley1998 @vaniniweenie @cupidelocke @avabh12 @whore4romance @dixondystopia @dixons-sunshine @bigbaldheadname @negansbestie

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#daryl dixon #the walking dead #daryl x reader #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #twd #deansapplepie #daryl fanfiction #daryl x y/n #daryl dixon the walking dead #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl #twd daryl dixon #daryl x female reader #daryl imagines

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thetarttfuldickhead · 5 months ago

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Apart from everything else, I think Jamie was pretty damned understimulated at the Dogtrack during his first stint there. He’s come from City, where standards are sky-high and regiments strict, to Richmond, which is, in his own words, tragic. The other players are not up to his level, the legendary captain is checked-out, the first manager middling and the second a rodeo clown, and sure Jamie gets to be the star of the team and he fucking loves that, but he’s also supposed to be learning isn’t he, and he’s… not? Getting a bunch of game time, absolutely, and that’s important, but…

And let’s be clear, Jamie is doing absolutely nothing to improve the sad state of affairs at Richmond; rather, he makes matters considerably worse, with his selfishness and belittling of others – but at the time he isn’t perceptive enough to realize that, and is just pissed that the others are dragging him down, even as he’s thrilled at being the best. And like a lot of gifted kids when they’re not being properly challenged, he gets with the old acting out bit. (And he’s a prick. Like, that is also very much something that’s going on with him at the time. I won’t stand for us brushing that aside, even as we acknowledge that there’s a lot more going on with him even in season 1.)

I don’t think Roy’s really seeing it back then; he’s far too annoyed with Jamie and far too caught up in his depression to pay proper attention to shit like that. But say he travels back in time and gets dumped before Jamie’s shipped back to Manchester… it’d take him, what, three minutes of watching training to figure out that Jamie is bored out of his mind and pissed off about it? And it’d take him another 30 seconds to decide to fuck it, I’m sorting this out, and start coaching Jamie specifically, stepping in to show where and how he can improve and setting a bunch of demanding challenges to make sure the muppet’s properly engaged and working hard. He makes an effort to compliment and encourage Jamie more than the would back in his own time, too, because he understands that he doesn’t really have a proper rapport with this Tartt yet and figures it’s best to build him up while also setting down some very much needed boundaries visavi Jamie’s treatment of others…

If everyone’s surprised by Roy’s behaviour, they’re fucking shellshocked when Jamie, after some initial what-the-fuck-ness, responds positively to the attention, advice and frankly mad stuff Roy has him doing. He’s still a prick, sure, still has issues, but mostly he’s too busy and too exhausted (and let’s be real, too high on having Roy Kent’s undivided attention) to cause too much trouble.

Honestly, Roy is quite surprised himself that things are going so smoothly, but also lowkey furious, because was it really always that easy to sort the little prick out? (Roy’s not giving himself and his own development enough credit here, by the way; it’s reasonably easy for him now, after the work he’s done on himself and the ways he’s grown and gotten to know Jamie, but it wouldn’t have been easy for him then, even if he’d tried.) Then again, it’s not all smooth sailing either, because Jamie is still in his prick era and has not actually agreed to let Roy boss him around, so sometimes he pushes back and Roy had actually forgotten how bloody infuriating Jamie can be when he decides to. But yeah, all in all, it works a treat.

#jamie tartt #roy kent #roy & jamie #royjamie #my stuff

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scoobydoodean · 4 months ago

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hot take ig but… dean wanting to contain jack was not cruel or even a bad idea…

first, it was not just dean’s idea. sam agreed, and cas had basically the same idea, just using the cage instead. but for some reason everybody ignores this!! second, containing dangerous people is what they always do. sam and cas have done so to dean. the s5 finale was all about locking up a dangerous powerful being. and there are other examples! third, jack was the most powerful being in the universe and had no soul meaning no ability to discern right from wrong. he was killing people! and they’ve always seen soulless people as dangerous. dean was willing to let sam die via the process of returning his soul bc he saw that soulless sam was not sam. and sam agreed!

like. yes dean was not handling the situation well, let alone gently, so i understand why sam and cas were frustrated. but his mother had just been killed (and ftr i do think cas was being kind of insensitive about it), and jack was still killing other people. dean’s allowed to be angry. he was being outwardly meaner, but sam was agreeing with him (he said a part of him wanted jack dead!) up until the point that dean actually agreed to kill jack for chuck.

idk i just feel like people really exaggerate dean’s actions in this situation especially in comparison to what sam and cas were saying and/or doing too. so i’m just wondering what you think of all of this? do you think dean was “right” or was he overreacting? or do you think the audience is too hard on dean (as always :/) about this? could this be another version of samdela effect? cause i feel like people misremember what the others were saying/doing in order to put more on dean…

also omg i just realized how long this became, so so sorry for the long rant!! if you can respond, thank you!

*opens my coat* would you care for some memes?

I will take your hot take and flambé it. When it comes to this subject, I don't feel inclined to be patient with fandom or carefully lay anything out piece by piece. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a betrayal it was to put Jack in the box and how mean and evil and abusive it was blah blah blah cry me a river. I was there watching when that episode aired and saw how stupid everyone was about that episode in real time and it was annoying then and it continues to be annoying that almost no one seems to bother putting a single granule of thought into this episode or what Sam and Dean were thinking or what the stakes actually were. And yeah—it was not just Dean who did that despite the samdela effect hard at work causing people to insist Dean somehow forced Sam to go along with him when that categorically did not happen.

People act like Jack was just standing there shitting rainbows and unicorns out of his ass and Dean turned around and strangled him to death for it. What happened was Soulless Jack killed Sam and Dean's mom and then went off and turned someone into a pillar of salt for being an atheist and filled someone else's body with worms to punish them for not wanting to be turned into an angel. Then he showed up at the bunker trying to make nice in the most hauntingly emotionless way possible—calling killing Mary an accident and then in his next breath saying he snapped and killed her because she threatened to reveal that the manner in which he killed Nick was scary and disturbed. In other words—he made it very clear to Mary's sons that murdering her was not actually a fucking accident at all even while he was calling it one.

Jack: I know -- I know things have been bad. A-And, if it helps, I regret it. The accident. Sam: The -- The accident? Jack: What happened to Mary. She kept talking about my soul, t-that I didn't have a soul, and she kept pushing. Dean: Oh, so she made you do it. Jack: No, it -- it was me, but I didn't want this no-soul thing to become an issue between us. I guess I snapped. Before I knew it, it was all over. Dean: "It" being the accident.

So Sam and Dean tricked him (the most powerful being in all creation) into getting in a box and he sat in there for 10 minutes. Oh no. How horrible.

A lot of the stupid fandom response to this is rooted in the babyfication of Jack that ran rampant within fandom at the time and continues in many circles. I happen to like Jack, and when I say that, I mean that I actually like him, and not the fanon adultbabydestiellovechild the fandom invented who has the emotional and mental capacity of a two year old and can't understand the difference between right and wrong. The real Jack did understand, and the real Jack would be (and was when he returned) horrified by what soulless Jack did (and for more than just how it would impact him). Jack was always an emotional person who struggled to control great power, but he had a strong moral compass and he loved people. That Jack would never have subjected someone to the twisted biblical punishments soulless Jack did for the crime of not believing in god or in him???? That Jack would have thrown Dumah into a wall in a rage for the mere suggestion he kill people over their beliefs and said, "You're hurting people". That Jack also would have wanted Sam and Dean to lock him up to protect others.

Some of the fandom problem with this also has to do the soulless lore as a whole and the constant usage of Donatello as the "soulless people can manage" poster child. Which ignores not only soulless Jack's actual behavior and how deeply dangerous his powers make him, but... pretty much every other soulless person we ever saw in the series, from soulless Sam, to numerous victims of Amara who turned into raging murderers in season 11 after she ate their souls. Hell though—the same people who insist soulless Jack was some poor little baby who just needed gentle parenting probably also think there was nothing wrong with soulless Sam despite the fact that he watched his brother be assaulted multiple times and seemed to actively enjoy it. Just normal Sam things, right? Donatello is the exceptional soulless person—not the rule—and it's because it isn't in his best interest to make trouble.

The idea that soulless Jack could be molded was suggested by Cas, but he also (as you pointed out) ended up inquiring about putting Jack in The Cage, instead of the Ma'lak box (and after the Ma'lak box was destroyed, so it wasn't an option anymore).

Lbr—the misogyny also jumped out in this string of episodes. Countless posts one after the other about how stupid Mary was and how it was all her fault and Jack did nothing wrong. How dare she make Jack angry. God forbid. What a stupid, frail, illogical woman. She deserved to die long before that anyway because she was a terrible mother, right? I mean it was obvious this sort of nonsense would come from the fandom in advance, given how many people had meltdowns over Dean shooting Jack in the back (something that didn't hurt Jack in the least) to get him to stop strangling a black store clerk to death in 13.23. As always, the imagined frail little fee fees of the white adult baby that fans invented must supersede other people's lives. Jack should be allowed to throw whatever tantrums he wants and kill anyone he wants during them and in response, Dean should shush him and start singing lullabies and carry him to a rocking chair to nurse.

#mail #14.19

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starcrossedxwriter · 4 months ago

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Built for Love Part 13 (MBJ x Famous Black OC)

A/N: you know the saying "it's gotta get worse before it gets better??" Well, that's true lol But enjoy the ride!

***

“You keep actin’ like it’s not a big deal! Like we can just wake up and get over it.”

“I never said that!” Charlotte called over him, attempting to drown out his blatantly false words. as she angrily folded her arms. She flopped back into the soft cushions of Dr. Matthews’ couch, angrily folding her arms. “But I’m sick of him acting like I’m the problem for focusing on OUR future? Shaun is the past. We’re supposed to be planning a wedding? You proposed to me! Why is it wrong for me to focus on that and not the past??”

“Well, I don’t know if that’s what Michael mea-”

Michael did not even allow their therapist to finish her thought before he jumped back in, his anger rising.

“I didn’t travel back in time and stumble into a bathroom to find him hurting you, Charlotte! It’s what? Almost the end of April so this happened six weeks ago?? He is very much our present and potentially part of the future. How can I just pretend that ain’t the case? He will be a threat to you until he’s in prison. And I’m not interested in being caught off guard again when he shows up for round two. And you know I’m right!”

“I don’t know that actually!”

“Sure. Lie to your family, Dr. Matthews, and yourself all you want but I see you, Charlotte. You haven’t moved on either. You’re just trying to ignore it so you don’t have to deal with it. So you don’t have to talk to me about it. Better to pretend this is somehow a normal everyday experience rather than just admit that it’s fucked up. You can say you’re fine all you want but I ain’t gotta pretend I believe it when I don’t.”

“Oh right cause you’re the resident expert on being stalked and almost murdered? Remind me when that happened to you too??” she snapped sarcastically. “Exactly! So why do you think your opinion of my progress somehow matters more than the only person in this room with actual experience surviving this and him. You’ve got no idea what it’s like. I’ve been here. I’ve survived this and worse. So maybe I am actually fine because I know exactly what this feels like. You can’t hold it against me that I’m not a broken thing that needs you to swoop in and fix her!”

“I don’t need to know what that’s like because I know you! And I’m not trying to fix you. Cause I don’t think acknowledging your pain means you’re broken. I do know that the last time you swore to me you were fine, he showed up at your rehearsal and then he bruised your ribs. And I knew, I fuckin’ knew, something was up before I left and I went anyway because you swore you were fine. Call me controlling o-or overprotective or annoying or whatever but at least you’ll be alive to be mad at me. Cause I sure as hell am not gonna make the same mistake ever again. You want me to chill out? Then start bein’ honest with me when shit isn’t fine and maybe I’ll start believing you when you say it is.”

“You act as if I just lie all the time?? In our entire relationship, I’ve kept one secret from you, made one more mistake! If you can’t forgive me for it, why are we even here??”

“Maybe I could if it was just one mistake. I love you with my entire soul, fuck you’re my everything. But for whatever reason, your go-to is to keep shit like this from me. He showed up at your rehearsal and you said nothing. Had nightmares that were so bad, you got sick and you told me everything was just fine. He hit you and threatened you and you still lied to me when I asked you what was going on. Same thing with your arm the night of the premiere. Do you wanna tell Dr. Matthews how you got that brace on your wrist and how you tried to hide it from me or should I?”

“This again!” Charlotte threw her free hand in the air as the one wrapped in a black brace stayed in her lap. “It’s a sprain and it was an accident. I didn’t tell you because of this - I knew you’d overreact and we’d be back where we were in March! And I was right. One accident and you acted like I was gonna fall apart. I wanted to celebrate, have fun and you overreacted and just wanted me to be sad all night. So much so that you couldn’t even see what I needed!”

“Overreact?? Wow. How am I supposed to react to finding out I hurt you??”

“YOU didn’t hurt me! I got hurt, there’s a difference. And the only person who was bothered was you. You know how many times I’ve been hurt? Concussions, bruised and broken ribs, carpet burns, regular burns, broken bones, cuts, hell, I bruised a kidney once. I’m a fuckin’ walking Grey’s Anatomy episode. I don’t need to send you a press statement everytime I’m hurt.”

“You know that’s not what I want! But you could at least tell me so I can help. Otherwise, what use am I to you?”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Dr. Matthews interrupted the pair. “Enough. Both of you!”

The couple had dissolved into a loud and biting vocal hurricane within five minutes of stepping into her Lower Manhattan office. Neither of them came ready for productive conversation but to unleash their frustrations onto a third party in hopes that she would convince the other that their side was the right one.

“You just spent 10 minutes arguing and I doubt either of you even heard a single thing the other person said. Getting louder doesn’t ensure your point is heard, it just makes you loud. So let’s take a deep breath so we can actually have a conversation.”

Charlotte took a few deep breaths before glancing at her fiance, guilt immediately surging as he jiggled his knee, a clear sign that he was upset.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her hand rubbing her forehead. “We d-don’t speak to each other like that. I’m just…” She glanced away from him as her voice trailed off. She did not know what she was but she knew nothing was as ok as she wanted it to be. As she wanted them to be. “Frustrated.”

“I know…” he acknowledged, letting out his own deep breath to release some of his anger. “I’m sorry too.”

“Ok good. I wondered when we’d finally get here. It took one session for me to see this argument brewing but I honestly thought you two would never get here. So amenable to other, willing to make surface-level changes that don’t address the root cause of your problems but unwilling to be vulnerable and say the hard things that would actually help you move forward. But like a lot of things, sometimes we have to take a couple steps back to reevaluate and move forward. So tell me what happened since our last session to get us here?”

Dr. Matthews’ calming voice was a sharp juxtaposition to the red hot anger they both entered her office ready to unleash. She was not wrong, this argument was simmering since Charlotte got home from the hospital and had boiled over without warning. Charlotte had thought they were making small inroads to being back to normal but Dr. Matthews now challenged everything Charlotte believed about their progress. She was so frustrated at Michael for setting them back but maybe she had just put too much hope that their problems were an easy fix and wouldn’t require the thing she dreaded most: vulnerability. But the last 48 hours felt like God saying that neither of them could sustain that much longer.

Charlotte sighed and glanced at Michael, his own shame wafting off of him.

“It really wasn’t a big deal. The other night…”

“WRONG! He can’t be dead!”

“Whatchu mean wrong?? We watched that nigga get stabbed eight times.”

“Yea we also saw dragons and zombies… you’re telling me that in a world of dragons and zombies, a nigga can’t come back to life?? What about Beric???”

Michael laughed. “Doesn’t mean everybody can do it just cause he did?? And how would he even come back? The entire Night Watch against him, Red Woman’s nowhere to be found. That nigga cooked. Had a good run though,” he remarked as he pulled their dinner out of the oven.

It was Charlotte’s night off from the show and the couple’s chosen date night. Their therapist had recommended setting aside the time each week to reconnect and focus on them. And Charlotte felt as if it was working, they were slowly but surely becoming them again. Perfect? No. But even their playful fighting over mundane tv plots was a new development. Fuck… just being playful at all was a glorious return to who they once were. Their relationship simply existed day to day with such an overcast of tension, the overbearing weight of life and death, that there was little space or energy to feel anything light. But the excitement of the day had turned tonight’s mood celebratory and fun, exactly what Charlotte needed to feel like herself again.

“Wow. You have nooo faith. That man’s comin’ back, I know it. Also if you were really killing off a character, is that how you’d write it?? The whole ‘is your favorite character dead?’ season finale cliffhanger almost always ends with the character being alive.”

“We talking about Thrones, Els! The show that killed off the main character in season 1 and most shows ain’t doing that shit. So I still haven’t heard one real reason he can’t be dead dead aside from the fact that you gotta crush on him.”

Michael loved egging her on when she put on her nerd hat. Mainly because he loved seeing her come alive in this way, as if this part of her had always been suppressed in relationships and her light just glowed when she was able to be her.

Charlotte turned and glanced over her shoulder as she made guacamole to accompany their homemade enchiladas. She placed her utensils down before walking over to wear he perched against the counter, too invested in their conversation to multitask.

“I mean even you have to admit that Jon’s brooding demeanor is sexy??”

“I’ll never admit that!”

Charlotte almost doubled over in laughter at the incredulous look on Michael’s face.

“Reasonable crush or not,” she struggled to say as she reigned in her laughter. “I know I’m right. Mark my words, by the end of episode 1, Jon Snow’ll be alive and kicking. His character arc isn’t over yet.”

“Wanna place a wager about that, honey bee?”

Charlotte raised an eyebrow. “Sure… cause I know I’ll win,” she teased.

“Loser has to give the winner massages, anytime requested, for a month.”

“Two!” Charlotte interjected. She merely smirked. “What can I say? I’m feeling lucky today for some reason.”

“Oh for some reason? Could it be cause a certain actress, as of today, is now Tony-nominated Charlotte Bennett - soon to be Tony Award winning Charlotte Bennett-Jordan,” he amended with his perfect boyish grin that made her roll her eyes and giggle.

“Maybe” she challenged with a modest look on her face. “Just… feeling inspired.”

And the day had been inspired indeed as Charlotte woke up to the highly anticipated nominations announcement. Her first real shot at a lifelong dream, finally realized. When they said her name among the nominees for Lead Actress in a Musical, she felt the world stop on its axis. Everything she thought she had lost was hers again.

Michael had been ecstatic for her, though not nearly as surprised by the news as she had been. If there was one person he would always bet on, it was his girl. And so they spent the entire day celebrating and Charlotte loved every moment of it. She had missed the version of Michael today brought out. Playful and silly, joking and laughing with her over mundane things, arguing with gusto about controversial storytelling opinions, going on tangents about his upcoming roles and his research. She missed his uninhibitedness, how he was unafraid to pull her into his arms, and be unrestrained. She just missed him.

“Is that right?” he remarked as he reached for her, Charlotte playfully sliding out of his grasp so he could not catch her.

Feeling emboldened by their return to some semblance of normalcy, she continued the game, giggling as she continued shifting out of his grasp as he reached for her. His eyes had a mischievous glint to them as he caught onto her game and soon they were in a full chase around the kitchen.

Laughter filled the living room as they played their game of cat and mouse. By the time they were circling each other around the coffee table in the living room like opponents in the ring, Charlotte knew she was caught. She would have to concede and accept defeat, but she hoped that her capture would lead to a reignition of far more enjoyable games.

She took off running by their couch, knowing Michael would grab her immediately and likely jokingly toss her onto it. However, as she rounded the corner, her foot caught onto the leg of their table, sending the clumsy actress hurling down to their carpet. She threw her arm out to break her fall, a searing pain shooting through her wrist as she landed on her stomach.

She groaned as she lost her breath on the impact, immediately curling into a tight ball as the fall reignited a dull pain in her freshly healed ribs. She cradled her wrist against her chest as she tried to fill her lungs with air again.

“Fucking… idiot,” she forced out as breathing started to feel less like an Olympic task.

“Shit! Baby, baby… Els. Talk to me, you ok??”

She simply nodded as she used her good arm to lift herself up and turn around.

“Yea, yea, I’m good. Just… annoyingly… clumsy,” she pushed out a chuckle as Michael helped her shift off the floor and onto the couch cushions. “As God… likes to remind me.”

“Fuck. I’m so sorry, baby.” Charlotte was almost startled when she finally looked up at him, hovering above her. His eyes frantically searched her body for injury, his face blanched as if he had been startled by a ghost. His phone trembled in his hands as he rushed to unlock it. “Let me call your doctor… or… shit, your concussion just healed… Did you hit your head on anything?? We should get it checked anyway. Maybe I should just call an ambulance?? Gonna call an ambulance. Anywhere else hurt?? Your ribs? It didn’t get the same spot he… Probably wasn’t hard enough to bruise them but we should get it checked too… how’s you-”

“Hey, hey, whoa. Slow down, baby,” she cradled the left side of his face, forcing him to slow down and go quiet for a moment. She could almost hear his heart hammering against his chest. “Take a deep breath, Bakari. I’m ok. Just a danger to myself and your expensive furniture,” she joked, hoping to calm him with humor, which didn’t work in the slightest. “Thank god I didn’t fall into the table. I know how much all this set you back. No need for doctors or ambulances. I promise. I’m good.”

She bit down on her inner cheek to avoid the wince as one subtle movement let her know her wrist was, at best, sprained. She kept it limp by her side as Michael helped her to her feet. But the look on Michael’s face made her question whether sharing that now would only make things worse. So she said nothing at all.

“I shouldn’t have chased after you like that. I should’ve moved faster when I saw you fall.”

“We were having fun. We’re allowed, you know?”

“Hurting you ain’t fun, Els. You’re hurt. Where?”

“I hurt myself, you didn’t do anything. And I just hit the side of the table as I went down, I think. It hurts but will probably feel fine tomorrow. I’m ok, I swear.”

“You sure?” She could see the disbelief in his eyes but she kept her face upbeat, ignoring the throbbing ache branching out from her wrist.

“Yes,” she chuckled. “Now, can we go back to enchiladas and margs and debating the narrative choices of Game of Thrones? And celebrating the biggest day of my career? We still gotta pop that very expensive bottle of champagne Chris sent. Please? I’m really ok.”

Her words convinced him to return to the kitchen where dinner waited. But they could not restore the carefree, celebratory aura they had 5 minutes ago. Instead, only that awful tension remained, leading to an uncomfortable silence that Charlotte could not break.

Michael’s thoughts were no longer on their date night, but clearly preoccupied. Charlotte could almost see the wheels of guilt spiraling out in his brain. Her mildly funny dad jokes fell on deaf ears, her questions and prompts for conversation were met with silence or one word answers. Occasionally, she felt his eyes on her, studying her for signs of pain or discomfort. But thankfully, he found none and did not notice her first couple awkward bites using her nondominant left hand.

She had every intention of telling him about her wrist once he calmed down but that moment never came. She tried to fight her way through the rest of the night, the couple even trying to catch up on a tv show together. But their usual vibrant commentary was silent as Charlotte stole worried glances at Michael and he did the same to her.

She did not even understand how they got here. How he was this upset when the entire incident was her own fault. After all, what clumsy person thinks it’s smart to start a high-speed chase in their living room? She felt as if this was the best outcome she could have hoped for.

“Michael… babe. You can’t just go silent on me,” she muttered grumpily, her frustration getting the better of her. “What’s wrong?”

She had been doing as her therapist recommended, practicing understanding and grace as Michael navigated his emotions after everything. But as more time passed, she was simply too ready to move forward and growing frustrated with his lack of interest in doing so. He was stuck, firmly planted, and no amount of tugging on her part felt like it would get him out of it.

The lack of intimacy in their relationship seeped into all aspects of their lives, including how they slept together. While they knew different rooms were simply too much distance for them, the furthest apart they could go were their separate corners of the bed. Charlotte tossed and turned most nights without her human weighted blanket draped over her. She understood the shift when her ribs were healing but he still held himself back from her, even after the all clear from her doctor. There were no playful touches or cuddling briefly before falling asleep, no more rolling away to cool off and Michael finding his way right back to her. They rolled to their corners after a chaste and subdued goodnight kiss before they both fell into restless sleep.

But tonight, she supposed the distance worked in her favor, giving her space to gently elevate her wrist. She knew she would regret not icing it in the morning but somehow that seemed more inviting than opening that can of worms with Michael right before bed.

“Just worried you aggravated your injuries or somethin’. You sure nothin’ else hurts? You can’t always tell right away?”

She knew what she should have said. The truth. That she needed an ice pack and a doctor. But she didn’t. In that split second, she knew he would never let this go if he knew she was actually hurt. And she could not deal with that. It was just a sprain anyway, she reasoned. She had dealt with far worse.

“I’m sure. Really. I didn’t fall off a ladder, I tripped. It’s fine. But if you’re gonna get stressed every time I fall, I’d rethink getting on this ride for life. You’ll be in for a hella stressful one.” Her tone was filled with amusement that finally did, minimally, tug at the corners of his lips. She leaned over and pressed another kiss to his cheek. “Accidents happen and I’m not made of glass. Now take a deep breath and get some rest. Love you.”

She turned over and closed her eyes, hoping that her words would be enough. But somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew they would not be.

But sleep was not something Michael would find tonight as he stared at the ceiling, wallowing in this stabbing guilt in his chest. He did not particularly want to be awake with his thoughts but he knew sleep was not a reprieve either. This monster, this fear chasing him and making him feel and behave in ways he knew were utterly irrational, haunted him every minute of every day.

And all he knew was that he had to stay alert, stay ahead of it and protect his girl. Because the one time he wasn’t watching close enough, wasn’t listening or paying attention close enough, she got hurt. He would not let that happen ever again.

***

Spring had officially settled into the New York City air but today, Charlotte was grateful for the lingering morning brisk that required long sleeves, praying it would hide the swelling on her wrist until she left for work. She grimaced and struggled to get her jacket on without moving her wrist much. Some idiotic part of her had hoped it would magically feel better this morning. But that was dumb. So she was leaving a bit early to carve out time for an urgent care visit. But she knew Michael would never let it go if he found out.

They had started to turn a new leaf and find their rhythm again. And Charlotte wanted to preserve that, not giving her fiance any more reasons to coddle her to death. Besides, Charlotte much preferred the old version of him to this one overprotective one.

She turned it over in her head most of the night and decided that it didn’t serve them to make a fuss over something so small when it was clear Michael harbored some unfounded guilt. She’d get it fixed and pass it off as a rehearsal injury. No harm, no foul.

Michael emerged from their bedroom with his work bag and shoes in tow as she finished putting on her coat.

“You ready?” He flopped down on the coach to put on his sneakers, Charlotte pausing with an eyebrow raised in confusion.

“Where are you headed?”

“With you.”

All good things must come to an end, she groaned to herself. She thought they had finally moved past him accompanying her to work every day like a guard dog. Some good things were simply too brief.

“Michael… I thought we agreed you didn’t need to come with me anymore?” Her tone couldn’t hide her annoyance, and she didn't particularly care to. “I went to the theater by myself like a big girl all last week and was totally fine.”

“I’m not bothering anyone sittin’ in a theater watchin’ you practice, Charlotte.”

“Yea no one except me,” she muttered just loud enough for him to hear. A wounded look crossed his eye for a moment that made her feel guilty. “Sorry, sorry. That was rude. I just thought… we were settling back into normal life again. I don’t need a babysitter when you pay for me to have a bodyguard anytime I leave this apartment. I’ll be fine.”

“There’s nothing wrong with extra protection. You need it. At least till he’s in prison.”

“I don’t actually. I can handle it.”

“No, you can’t.”

Charlotte paused, slowly turning in surprise as silent frustration morphed into roaring anger. “Excuse me? Who are you to decide that?” She paused. “Wait, wait, wait. Is this still about last night??”

“Nah.”

“You sure? Cause you were fine before last night and now you’re back to being unnecessarily overprotective.”

“I don’t think it’s unnecessary.”

“Why?? Cause I tripped over my own feet? I’m gonna get hurt, injure myself and you can’t freak out like this everytime. I’m a magnet for accidents who bruises like a fruit. I’m fine. You can’t keep acting like we’re still at DEFCON1. We’re not. Things are getting back to normal, can’t we just enjoy that? Please? For me?”

He studied her for a moment before nodding softly, throwing his bag down on the couch. She closed the space between them and kissed him softly on his cheek.

“Thank you. I am heading to the theater. I’ll call you when I get there. Love you.” Not thinking, she went to grab for her discarded bag with her injured arm before the pain forced her to awkwardly change course and use her other hand. She started to move toward the elevator when she heard his voice stop her.

“Wait! There something wrong with your arm?” Michael’s voice reached her as she was pressing the elevator button to the lobby.

“No, why?” She was so close. Literally steps away. How had she fucked this up?

“Because I saw you strugglin’ to put your jacket on and you just avoided using that arm like you couldn’t. And now that I think about it, I haven’t seen you move it all morning.”

“Jesus… you get trained by the CIA at some point or something?”

“Charlotte. I’m serious. What’s wrong with your arm?”

“Nothing, Michael.”

“You’re really gonna lie to my face right now? Ok… Move it.”

“Michael…”

“Charlotte.”

She could always tell when Michael was serious, when he did not want to be trifled with. It was just rare that he had to direct that tone at her. But hearing it now, she felt resigned. She would have to tell him the truth and she could already tell..

This was going to fucking suck.

“Ok fine. I tried to break my fall last night and my wrist hurts a bit. It’s nothing.”

“Fuck, Charlotte!” He closed the space between them quickly, only pausing when he noticed the almost unnoticeable jerk of her body away from him. He could tell she started to flinch but caught herself, not that that made it hurt any less. He held his hands out as he took the last couple of steps to her side. He gently reached for her arm, pushing her sleeves out of the way to find her wrist swollen and red. “It’s sprained or broken. Why didn’t you tell me last night?? I asked you hella times if you were hurt. I knew we should’ve gone to the hospital o-or called a doctor.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you!” She cried out in frustration as she watched the love of her life turn into this person she did not even recognize. “Because I knew you’d lose it. I knew you’d force me to spend the night in the ER regardless of what I wanted. I’m tired of you coddling me like I can’t make decisions, Michael!”

“So cause you’re mad at me… you lied to me? Again??? After you promised you wouldn’t do that shit again.”

Charlotte scoffed. “It’s hardly the same thing! This was literally nothing! A few weeks in a brace and I’m fine. So yes, I omitted a minor injury so you wouldn’t feel the need to take control! So you wouldn’t focus 100% of your attention on every stage of healing of my wrist or whether a fall triggered PTSD somehow. I have this under control and handled. I don’t need help. I. am. Fine. I don’t know why you aren’t listening to me when I say that.”

“Maybe because had I listened to you the last time you said that, I would’ve come back from LA to plan your funeral!”

Charlotte’s comeback died in her throat as his words caught her off guard. She didn’t think about… that. It was a simple statement of fact. But she didn’t really dwell on it, how close she came to losing everything, how she only survived because someone else was there to save her. That she would have died as the woman he created - weak and broken - and not the person she believed she fashioned herself into.

No, those were truths Charlotte had no interest in dealing with. So she forced her reaction to remain neutral, ignoring the ache in her chest that had nothing to do with physical pain.

“So you’re just gonna hold that against me for the rest of our relationship? Just never believe me o-or take my word for anything ever again?”

“No but-”

“Cause that’s what it’s starting to feel like.”

“It wouldn’t if you were just honest! I’m trying to help you.”

Charlotte took a deep breath before turning to hit the button on the elevator door.

“Ok… Honesty… Well, honestly, I’m getting a little tired of being called a liar when all I’m trying to do is help us. Honestly, I’m not sure how you expect me to be vulnerable when you aren’t listening to me. Honestly, I’m tired of convincing the man I love that I’m not gonna fall apart every second because he can’t stop treating me like I’m gonna fall apart every fucking second. Honestly, I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only person trying to move past this. And honestly, today, I don’t want your help. Because reminding me with every look and action that I’m a victim when all I want is to continue celebrating the biggest accomplishment of my career isn’t helping me. It’s just more of what everyone else in my life does. And honestly, I’m. Tired. Of. It.”

She punched the elevator button hard, a soft chime letting her know it arrived almost instantaneously. Thank God.

“So, want any more honesty for today or are we good?”

“That’s not wha-”

“I have an interview in 20 minutes and I can’t be late.” She cut him off, pressing the elevator button in rapid succession as if that would conjure it faster. “See you tonight.”

And with that, Charlotte stormed out, leaving Michael alone with his frustrations and guilt. Charlotte was rarely angry at him but he could tell she was reaching a new height of frustration. But he did not know how to stop. Even standing there, equally as pissed off at her as she was with him, all he wanted to do was rush after her to go with her to work. He could be pissed and still protect her, right?

He despised the fact that she claimed he was not hearing her. He was listening, far more intensely than she realized. Which is how he knew that all was not well for her, how he knew she needed the extra support even if she did not want to admit it.

And then to find out that she kept something significant from him again. Had he not proven to her that he was going to be present? And protect her from every threat? Did she not consider him capable of fixing her problems, of helping her? That made him only want to prove himself more, prove he could protect her from anything that came her way.

But he didn’t know how to get her to see that he was doing what he had to protect her, to not fail her again.

“Wow. Ok… a lot to unpack there,” Dr. Matthews muttered. “Charlotte, did you mean what you said? About him not helping you?”

“Well… kind of? At the moment, yes. He’s been helpful in a lot of ways, don’t get me wrong. And I love him for it. It’s just… I lied because… I mean shit, I just wanted one day. One day to not be a survivor or victim or be reminded that Shaun tried to ruin yet another thing in my present. In fact, I wanted to celebrate that even though he tried to ruin this for me, I still came out on top. But it’s like - and I don’t even think he’s doing it on purpose, which it’s been so hard to tell him - Michael can’t not remind me of it. It’s in every look, every touch, every decision. It’s like all he sees is the broken woman on that bathroom floor. And I don’t want to be made to feel like her when she’s dead and buried.”

“Michael, do you hear what Charlotte’s saying?”

“Yea, and I understand it but… what else am I supposed to do?? What if he comes back? What if he attacks her again? I need to be there to protect her.”

“He’s not gonna come back!”

“You don’t know that! Did you think he was gonna basically change his job so he could get closer to you? I’m not gonna underestimate that nigga… ever again.”

“Oh and I did? I underestimated the man I slept next to for years? I’m the only one here who actually knows what he is capable of!”

“Clearly you did if you thought you could take him on yourself.”

“Right because I’m just a weakling who needs big strong men to swoop in and save her at every turn because I got hurt once?”

“It wasn’t on-”

“Okay okay, once again, deep breaths. Whew… the soul mates ones are always the most intense. Can’t even get a word in in my own office,” Tanya remarked. “Ok, you want to know what I hear? Two people who, despite their immense love and adoration for each other, aren’t actually ready to be vulnerable with each other. And without that, you’ll never understand the other person’s perspective because you’ll never have the full story and you’ll keep bumping heads.”

“We know how to be vulnerable?” Charlotte argued back. “I mean even telling Michael what happened to me in the first place, sharing that was me being vulnerable.”

“It was and that’s brave and admirable. I don’t doubt that you two have had moments where you offer vulnerability. But this situation you find yourselves in is unique and trauma, our fears, are often the hardest to share with others. I think you both are acting from a fear-based place and that’s understandable but you’ll never be able to move forward. Instead, you’ll just keep holding tight to behaviors you both know don’t serve you or your relationship.”

“I’m not scared,” Charlotte remarked. “Maybe this would be easier if I was… at least then his behavior would be understandable.”

“We all have fears, Charlotte. And I do think there’s a reason you opt for dismissing and lying about your own pain as if it’s insignificant. And it could just be an ingrained behavior but I think you need to ask yourself if there’s another reason you don’t trust the foundation of this relationship enough to be honest with Michael when things aren’t going well. And Michael, getting worked up to the point of distress over simple injuries, not being able to let your partner out of your sight… that’s not healthy or sustainable for either of you. And that’s more than general anxiety. And in our first session, you admitted that to us both. So ask yourself why you’ve reverted to something you know doesn’t work? Whatever the reasons are, I can help you both navigate all of it. But you’ve gotta be honest with yourselves and me about the reasons behind it. Until you’re ready to share with each other how that night changed you and your relationship, you’re just gonna keep having this argument until you break. And I don’t think either of you really want that?”

The both of them shook their heads, her words were harsh but they both knew there was a ring of truth to them.

“Okay good. So homework for this week is to do just that. Sit with yourselves, really sit with everything the other person said today and try to examine it. Not from a defensive posture like you’ve been doing but like you know the other person loves you and has your best interests at heart. And figure out the why behind your behavior. Keep asking why until you drill down to whatever is truly bothering you. Then… I don’t care when or how, whether you wait till our next session or do it while you’re alone, you’re gonna have to tell the other person your why. And to be honest… it’s gonna suck. But that’s the only way you’re gonna make it to the other side of this. Sound good?”

Charlotte glanced over to Michael who gave her a slight nod. He reached across the cushions and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Sounds good.”

***

Michael glanced over at Charlotte, her deep brown eyes set with sadness and far away from him as she changed out of her costume. He would have been more worried if that look had not been a staple in her eyes since their therapy session a few days prior. Whether it was the lingering silence and coldness between them or the reflection Dr. Matthews tasked them with, he did not know. But he knew one thing: he hated it.

And as much as he knew it would suck, he was ready to do his part to end that. Whether or not he felt as if he was doing the right thing, his time reflecting made him realize that if Charlotte did not agree, he was doing the complete wrong thing. He didn’t have to sit with himself long to understand his why, understand what fears had him in a tight vise grip. As much as he dreaded saying it out loud, part of him dreaded an endless stream of sleepless, lonely nights even more.

He missed his honeybee. His Els. He missed who they were before Shaun waltzed back into their lives. And he knew some of it was on him. He could not force Charlotte to trust him again, but he could be a better listener so he could show up however she needed when she asked… not when he decided she needed him.

“Wanna grab dinner nearby tonight? Instead of heading home?”

“Not really up for it. Been a long day.”

He bowed his head, nodding slightly. “Neither am I,” he admitted. “But I think we gotta try.”

He knew he was asking a lot of her after the days they had. They had whiplash going from the highest of highs to a low so low, it felt as if they couldn’t climb their way out. But he wouldn’t lose her and he wouldn’t allow him to break them. So they would try.

And soon they found themselves in a near-deserted 24 hour diner next to the theater, Charlotte stopping in her tracks when he went to open the front door.

“You wanna eat here?”

“Yea I know it doesn’t look like much andd I definitely saw a mediocre health rating when I was here earlier but well, I had a whole reason. We can go somewhere else though.”

Charlotte shook her head. “No, no. It’s fine. It’s just… God is funny, I guess.”

“What do you mean?” Michael asked as they situated themselves in a booth at the very back of the restaurant. Michael sat with his back to the door, not his preferred arrangement but he wanted to minimize the chance of a random stranger recognizing them.

“I’ve been here before… when I left Shaun.” She pointed to a worn out booth on the other side. “Sat right in that booth over there with Jazz and it was the first time I admitted to anyone what was going on. We sat here for hours, drinking terrible cheap coffee and she saved my life. Just telling her, saying it out loud, gave me the confidence I needed to do what I had to. A week later, Shaun was at a bachelor’s party in Vegas and I was gone. Shocked it's still standing. How’d it catch your eye?”

“Came in here yesterday during the show and… reflected. Over about 6 plates of greasy fries and cheap terrible coffee.”

“Oof, reflection. I guess that explains the six plates of fries huh?” she joked with a light teasing smile that made him chuckle. “Seems like that’s our needed reflection fuel” she remarked as the lone waitress came to take their order. Once she returned to the diner counter, Charlotte continued. “And what did you learn?”

“My why.”

“And are you ready to tell me?”

“Yes but then… if you’re ready, I need yours. Because I think you know yours already too?”

“How’d you know?” He knew her far too well.

“Cause you would’ve tossed and turned even more than usual the last few nights if you didn’t. That genius brain of yours would’ve never let you sleep.” He teased back at her, Charlotte laughing lightly.

“I don’t know if I like how well you know me.”

“I do… know you. And I see you, Els. So I know I’ve been overbearing and probably annoying, Charlotte. And I’m sorry for how that made you feel, like you weren’t being heard and I never want you to feel that way with me again. But you aren’t being honest with me or yourself and I can’t move on till you are.”

“You’re right,” she admitted. “You’re… absolutely right. I haven’t been and I know why. I just… it’s not even admitting it to you. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, really. So let’s agree… no judgments, no anger, no arguing… Just our ridiculously painful reflections and ugly truths laid out in a rundown crappy diner. My future is with you and there’s no future here if we can’t talk about the hard shit. So… let’s talk”

“Ok I’m in.”

“Pickers of the terrible diner first,” she smiled half heartedly, turning the table over to him. Her hands wrapped around the warm mug the waitress dropped off moments earlier.

Michael sighed, his eyes trained on the cast on her arm for a few moments. Charlotte’s eyes widened as she saw his eyes brim with tears. He glanced away from her, sniffling a bit to stop them from spilling over. She reached across the table and grasped his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Bakari… baby. It’s just me. Just the two of us. You’ve been so strong for me our entire relationship and I love you so much for it. But you also have to trust me to be vulnerable, trust that I can be strong for you too. Talk to me. No matter what you say, I’m not going anywhere.”

Michael nodded, internally working up the courage before he just decided to jump. Head first into it. That was always their way anyway, just leaping into what felt right and safe. And they had yet to crash and burn. They wouldn’t this time either.

“A couple days after everything, I had this… dream. We were back in LA, married, livin’ together at the house. We h-had kids. Two boys, I think. I mean you would’ve thought time just sped up or something, it was so real. Everything I want for us, you know?”

“It sounds perfect. I’m guessing it didn’t end that way though?”

The back of his hand brushed away an escaped tear.

“Nah, it didn’t. I came home and you were there. And so was Shaun,” he paused, his hand squeezing hers a bit before he continued. “He had a gun and he just voiced every guilty feeling living in my head. How I prioritized a fuckin’ movie role over you, how I went to LA even though I knew something wasn’t right. How you almost died and I could’ve been too late. How you probably think I’m like him when you flinch away or get scared of me. And the worst part was you agreed with all of it. You screamed at me for failing you.”

“Michael, you gotta know I-”

“J-just let me get this out, Els.” He sniffled and took a deep breath before continuing, “I woke up as he pulled the trigger and I freaked out for a minute. I’d just never had a dream feel so real. I reached and still there, and you flinched away from me. And it… fuck, it killed me, Els. It felt like God affirming everything I thought, all the ways I’d failed you. You didn’t trust me anymore, didn’t see me as safe. And every time I hear you cry in the shower because you think I can’t hear you o-or diminish your pain as if I shouldn’t care or act as if you aren’t worth being taken care of and protected, it reminds me that I can’t fail you again. I can’t afford to fail you again. I know I’ve been overprotective but I just… I can’t stop looking over our shoulders for him. Terrified I’m going to miss the signs again and this time, I’ll lose you.”

Charlotte’s heart broke a bit at his words. Why had she not considered this? She thought he put all of his guilt and blame to rest but to know he had been harboring it for so long, everything made so much more sense. And she felt like the world’s biggest idiot.

“Hey. Look at me,” she demanded, not speaking until his expressive eyes were trained on hers. “There hasn’t been a single day since I met you that you’ve failed me. I d-don’t need you to try and prove you’re my safe place or that you can protect me. You just are that by existing, by loving me and showing up for me. And yea… it might take some more time for my body to catch up, but that isn’t on you. That’s on me for not dealing with it. And PTSD is just a fucking bitch,” she chuckled, causing the deep creases of his frown slack a bit. “But I don’t blame you, not then or now. I lied to you, Michael.”

“But I should’ve-”

“Should’ve what? Been a mind reader? Sacrificed a job on a hunch? That’s not a fair expectation for yourself, baby. Nor would I have ever wanted or expected you to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime for me. I don’t need a savior, I just need you to be there as best you can. And even when I didn’t realize how much I needed you, you did and came back for me. How could I ever think a man who sees me as clearly as that is a failure?”

“You asked me to move here to protect you. And I didn’t. And now he’s back out there and I need to know you’re safe until he isn’t a threat to you anymore. You were gone for five minutes, Els. That was all it took. And now, it feels like if you’re out of my sight for long, I just spend the time on the verge of a damn panic attack.”

“I asked you to come with me to make me feel safe, to love me, and support me. Not to be a bodyguard. And that’s what you’ve done and more. You know what I love about how you love me?”

“What?”

“You’ve always seen me. Every little detail, every word, every oddity and intricacy. You see everything and your love has always reflected that, has always been exactly what I needed. But you can’t love me like that if you can’t see me. And you can’t see me fully if you’re always looking over my shoulder for him.”

“And if he comes back around? What then?”

“Then we deal with him. I know he could come back and there’s not much I can do about it. The only thing I can do is not waste my time, our time, waiting for him to knock on our door. He can’t be our anchor, holding us in one spot when we need to move forward. What kind of life would that be for us? I never felt like I could win against him but this made me realize that I win every day by thriving. He tried to hurt me on the opening night of my show and in June, I could potentially win a Tony for that show while he waits to go to prison. That feels like victory in some way to me. And I can live with that. I can live every day knowing that every time he’s shown up, I’ve just come out on the other side stronger and better for it. I could waste my life waiting around for him or I can live it. And I just need to live my life. And we just have to be us. And more than anything, I just want us back.”

“I want us back too. But I can’t do that if you aren’t even being honest about how you’re feeling and what you need.”

She sighed. “So I guess it’s my turn, huh?”

She stared at him for a few moments before saying, “When I left New York, he had taken everything. My identity, self-esteem, personhood. He took it all and left me with the scraps. And for a while, even with the entire country between us… I still lived in terror of him. Afraid of my shadow, afraid to speak without permission… to look people in the eye. I could put on the character of Charlotte to perform for a couple hours a night or for a day on set but what he created was just a shell of a person. And I hated myself for it.”

Charlotte glanced out of the window at the cars rushed past them, the city that never sleeps indeed.

“And eventually I put myself back together and I said he’d never break me again… never take that power again.”

She glanced over to him. “And then he showed up here a-and I realized that terror wasn’t gone… I just let it go so quiet that I forgot it was there. And the moment I saw him, it was like I was that broken girl all over again. When he hit me, while I laid on the ground apologizing to him, you know what he said? ‘There she is… the real Charlotte.’ Like he knew I had dressed up the shell all pretty and different but on the inside? I was… am still hollow… still his broken scared plaything who couldn’t fight him.”

Michael’s heart broke at how despondent her voice sounded. But as hard as it was for her to admit that, he could not pretend he was not glad she did. This was easily the most honest Charlotte had been with him in their entire relationship, the most revealing about her own insecurities and pain. And regardless of what it took to get there, he knew what a monumental step forward this was.

He doubted therapy would do much for them, or him individually, at the beginning but Dr. Matthews seemed to hit a home run yet again.

“But you did fight back, Els. You fought him.”

“I fought him because of you. Because I saw you in the crowd. Because you came back for me. And I should’ve told you that. You’ve spent almost two months believing you failed me when you saved my life twice that night. I fought and without you, I would’ve lost. I dunno, I guess I just didn’t want to admit that when it comes to him, I’ll always be broken? I’ll always be hollow. And that felt like admitting that all that work and healing to create the woman you fell in love with, the woman I was finally proud of, was a lie. And why would you want to be with a shell? And everytime you treated me like this fragile broken flower, it just felt like you were agreeing that I hadn’t changed too? And that just made me want to prove that I had.”

“Honey bee… You really believe that? That you’re a shell?”

She shrugged. “What else am I supposed to think? I worked so hard and when I had the chance to show him that I was different, I froze until I knew there was someone bigger and stronger to help me.”

“You wanna know what I believe?”

“Always.”

“I think you gotta start giving yourself more grace, baby girl. To survive what you have and be where you are today? You didn’t need me or Jazz or Lauren or Jackson or anyone else to do that, that’s just you. And I’m not even talking about your insane roster of accomplishments. You’re light, baby. I mean literal light, you lighten up every room you walk into, people gravitate toward you in a way I’ve never seen. No one would blame you for being jaded or hardened but you aren’t. You laugh loudly and love hard. You aren’t hollow, Els. You’re overflowing with life and love and light. That’s strength. And acknowledging how he hurt you, how it still hurts you, doesn’t diminish that.”

“I don’t want to acknowledge that version of me, Michael. Especially not with you. This isn’t a part of me I ever wanted you to see. Didn’t think… you could love me the same if you saw how broken I am. I guess that’s why I’ve also been pretending like I’m fine. Dealing with all this and being open about it… I don’t wanna turn you off.”

“I wanna see it though, Els. I need to understand you, to support you. I’d marry you tomorrow if we could. You thought it’d be this easy to get rid of me?”

“Falling into a million pieces after a stalking ex felt like it would be enough? You must really be in love with me then?” Though she meant it as a statement, he could hear the question in her words, her intonation spelling out her doubts.

“No number of stalking exes could make me fall outta love with you. And there’s no reaction you could have, no number of nightmares or whatever that would do it either. I ain’t going anywhere. I love you and I should be supporting you the way you need it, not however I think is right. I knew that and I still haven’t been doing it and I’m sorry for that.”

As they talked, Charlotte felt lighter than she had since Shaun waltzed back into her life. Unburdening all of her fears and actually talking to Michael made her feel like they could actually take a step forward, even if it was a series of baby steps.

“Thank you and I can’t promise that tomorrow I’ll just be an open book. But I promise to try harder to be. I used to have to hide everything from everyone. No one knew the real story cause if I was honest, everything would fall apart and I thought I’d lose everyone. And I guess I convinced myself that going at it alone is the only way to avoid that? And this made me realize that… that’s all I know how to do. But I know I can’t go at it alone all the time and I shouldn’t. Our love was built to withstand a lot more than I give it credit for. So I will try harder and be more honest about how I’m feeling with you. Keeping things from you isn’t right, regardless of the reason. And you deserve better than that. I’m sorry too.”

“Apology accepted. I know it won’t be easy for either of us, I ain’t expecting that. Let’s just promise that everyday, we’ll try?”

“That I can do.” Charlotte studied him for a moment before getting up and scooching into the booth next to him.

She threw caution to the wind and pressed her lips to his. The first second was tentative, as if she was mentally prepared for his sudden rejection. But instead he merely encouraged her, a gentle hand cradling her neck in an effort to bring her closer. And she leaned into it, savoring the renewed intimacy between them. All was not perfect and there was still work to do but she realized that with Michael, she didn’t need perfection. She just needed him.

She only broke their intimate moment when she remembered they were most certainly in a public place. It hadn’t felt like it but she often felt like, when she was focused on Michael, everyone and everything around them melted away. But she also didn’t want a photo on the shade room tomorrow of them making out in a random diner.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “For being here and loving me.”

“Always, Els.”

***

Michael let out a deep content sigh as he found himself back in his favorite sleeping spot, his face buried in the nook of her neck.

“Fuck I missed this.”

“Me too… you’re a really good weighted blanket.”

“Damn, that’s all I’m good for??”

Charlotte made a face as if she was contemplating his other qualities. “Yea… that and other fun bedtime activities,” she offered with a joking smile.

“Say the word and I can show you just how good I am at those activities too.”

“Not tonight. But only cause I know you’re gonna wanna make up for lost time and I want us to actually stay awake for it.”

“I’d prefer you be awake too,” he muttered sleepily, the late hour starting to get to him.

Charlotte could feel the tell-tale signs of Michael starting to drift off but despite the late hour, she found her brain unwilling to turn off as she thought about them. And how lucky she was to be with him. Weeks of disagreement and strife but they still found their way back to each other, found safety and refuge to reveal their fears and actually come closer together after so much time apart.

If asked, Charlotte wasn’t sure she could find the words to articulate the love she had for this man and the love she felt from him. She never believed she would find this - someone who loved her so deeply, so purely. Someone whose love didn’t hurt. Who loved her scars she saw as ugly and the parts of her that she hid from the world, the parts that were barely bandaged together. For some unknown reason, he did. And he chose every day to love her through it all.

The painful stinging of tears behind her eyes hit her as she sniffled. This is what hope and excitement about the future felt like, something that before Michael she rarely felt. Because regardless of what happened with her career or anything else, she couldn’t wait to build her life with him. This love was light and everything she hoped for but didn’t believe she deserved. And for the first time since the incident, she wasn’t scared to lose it. She no longer felt like she was watching their love story in fear of the end, but that she was watching it blossom. Because this was just the beginning of their story.

“You good?” he asked as she sniffled quietly, lifting his head to find her eyes glistening in the dark with tears. “What’s wrong, honey bee??”

“Nothing, nothing. These are happy tears, I think. I just… Marry me.”

Michael let out a confused chuckle. “I know it was a crazy few days back then but you remember I already did this right? Proposed?”

She reached over and turned on their bedside lamp, Michael shifting so she could sit up.

“Yessss I know. I’m not reproposing. I’d never propose to a man, goes against my religion. I’m saying… Marry me… now. Well, not now as in here,” she amended quickly. “I mean, we’re in bed and we don’t have a marriage license but I don’t wanna wait.”

“Els… don’t say that shit if you don’t mean it. It’s been a long few days, an emotional few months. We don’t gotta rush if you aren’t ready…”

Michael did not want to get ahead of himself or too excited, worried that she was swept up in the emotions of the day. After all, deciding to get married right away was something he would usually suggest, not her. She has always been the more cautious one where they were concerned. But he could not deny that if she was serious, she would be making him the happiest man on this planet. He was so ready to be her husband, to vow to love her for the rest of his days. He was dreading the year+ it would likely take to find the right time for a wedding given their schedules. He had bounced around ideas of smaller, intimate destination weddings in the fall but they hadn’t found the right fit yet.

“I’m not rushing. I can see how it looks like that but this isn’t rushing. And I know we still have shit to figure out. I just… It’s gonna sound cliche but whatever time I have with you, whatever time I have to love you and be loved by you? I don’t want to waste it. I don’t wanna wait 3 or 4 months till we’re back in LA or however long it’ll take to plan some big wedding I don’t need. You’ve never wasted our time, Bakari. You’ve always been so sure and moved with that assurance. And I’ve never felt rushed by any of it, it’s always just felt right. And this? I feel sure, it feels right. We could wait if you want to, I’ll totally understand. I know this is literally insane. But I’m ready to be your wife, to build a life with you. I’m ready for our next step and I think you are too? Maybe?”

At his silence, she added. “And it doesn’t have to be a big thing. We can go to the courthouse for all I care.”

Silence.

“Say something… please. Before I pray that God let’s the ground swallow me whole from embarrassment.”

“My bad my bad. I was trying to find the words but then got offended at you thinking I’m gonna give you a courthouse wedding like we’re two teens trying to hide a pregnancy or some shit.”

“What?? There’s nothing wrong with a courthouse wedding.”

“Nah there isn’t but what about your family?? Mine? You don’t know how happy this makes me. And I’m all in without hesitation. But you deserve a special day, not a drive by at the courthouse. Give me 30 days, Els. Memorial Day weekend in LA, let me make it special for you.”

Charlotte transitioned to sitting up on her knees before literally catapulting herself into his arms with pure excitement. Michael had to roll a bit to make sure they didn’t topple right off the bed.

“We really doing this?? We’re getting married in 30 days?”

“Yea! I can’t wait to be your wife, Bakari. Besides, you were right, Tony award winning Charlotte Bennett-Jordan has a far better ring to it.”

“Fuck I love you so much,” his heart could’ve exploded into a million pieces in his chest. There was work to be done but they’d do it together, every day for the rest of their lives. And he couldn’t wait.

“I love you more.”

“Impossible.” He stared down at her, licking his lips as his eyes filled with lust. “You awake enough now for me to show you just how much?”

Charlotte squeezed her legs together as his deep baritone reignited that feeling in her core. His lips searched for her weak spot on the side of her neck, caressing and sucking with the skill of a God. Fuck, it had been too long. But something stopped her.

“I want you… so bad. But what if we wait until the wedding?” At his incredulous expression, she added, “You know, think about how much more special it’ll be after we’ve reconnected more emotionally after all this, our first time back in a while as husband and wife. It could be really special. What do you think?”

Michael knew in his brain that she was right, it would be more special and intense after a long bout of celibacy. But the smaller head that controlled some of his decision making… was less than thrilled.

So he immediately got out of bed and started to walk toward the bathroom.

“Ok we haven’t had sex in weeks, 30 more days couldn’t have upset you that much??” she called out after him, her surprise clear in her tone.

Michael turned as he reached the door, smiling his superstar boyish grin at her. “I’m not mad, I’m in. I’m just… gonna jump in the shower.”

Charlotte doubled over in laughter at him. “Let me guess, a cold one?”

“Ice cold. You shouldn’t be so irresistible, honey bee.”

“You’re a mess,” she smiled at him. But he was her mess. And she loved him for it.

“Maybe but fair warning, you won’t be tapping out that night.”

She smiled. “As if I’d ever tap out on you. I guess we’ll be sleeping in separate corners tonight again?”

“We’ll see how effective this cold shower is.”

She let out a belly laugh as she flopped back into their warm covers and he started the shower. She could hear a girlish shrill noise a few moments later that she suspected was him stepping into the freezing water. She had to use their duvet to muffle the sounds of her giggles as she listened to him mutter expletives as he adjusted to the water temperature.

“You good in there? Sounds like someone’s dying?” she called loudly over the water, deciding that she couldn’t not tease him for this.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep??”

She rolled her eyes with a grin and turned over to try to fall asleep, leaving her future husband to his needed activities. There would be quite a few cold showers and long runs in their future. For the next 30 days at least.

Taglist: @certifiedlesbianbaddie @bangtanxmegan @reelwriter19 @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @hi888888sworld @msniaimani @destinio1 @lynaye1993 @chaoticevilbakugo @blackerthings @pipsqueak-98 @miyuhpapayuh @passionxwrites @gopaperless @injerafiend @ari17

***

A/N: I realized that the last time I updated the main story was like December lol my sweet OG babies... But they're getting married!! I really wanted to explore their recovery and hang ups before moving them forward. The next chapter is their wedding and then our final chapter (can you guess what night that'll be? lol) drop a comment and let me know what you thought!

#black writers #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x oc #mbjordanedit #black panther #michael b jordan fanfic #michael b jordan x reader #creed 3 #adonis creed #creed iii

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cultofdixon · 10 months ago

Text

Ray of Fucking Sunshine

Negan Smith • She/Her Pronouns • Mess with the little pregnant lady, you mess with so much more • SFW/ANGST/NSFW - Implied Sex / Hickeys • TW: Pregnancy & Birth / Nausea & Vomiting / Over-Protectiveness / Injuries / Mentions of Canon Violence • Pre-Savior Arc

Requested by: Anon

“Wait. Run that back to me, darling?” Negan was confused with what his partner Y/N had just told him.

“It ain’t rocket science understanding that I’m pregnant, baby” Y/N frowns leaning against the counter to the room the two claimed when they found their new home. “This is gonna be one hell of a journey unless you want me to get rid of it. Though I can’t think of a healthy way of doing it. Think they’ve got any coat hangers still lying around?”

“Well aren’t you funny” Negan scoffs followed by a semi annoyed laugh toward her words. He lifted himself up from the bed bringing himself close to Y/N as she started to avoid his gaze. “Hey, don’t hide those gorgeous eyes from me” he gently lifts her chin so her eyes locked with his. “This is a good thing alright? I want to have this baby and if yea don’t…well, I think they’ve got them metal coat hangers around” he jokes making her laugh and bring back that smile of hers followed by his.

“We’re gonna be parents”

“Yeah we are” Negan smiles kissing her lovingly resting his hands on her hips bringing her close as she brought her arms around his neck even if he was much taller than her and had to be on her tippy toes.

When they parted, Negan couldn’t help but picture their future and that brought a sense of warmth to the man.

Their baby is the future of their new community; The Sanctuary

First Trimester

“So you’re replacing me”

“Hey, don’t put words in my mouth” Negan kept his cool when talking to his partner. “You’re pregnant. Can’t handle the heavy shit and it’ll be good to have another right hand. Plus Simon shows promise”

“Simon is a pain in the ass!”

“Alright yea only say that because the man got in your way for just a second”

“I HAD TO PEE DUMBASS. I WOULDVE FUCKING THROWN HIM IF I HAD THE STRENGTH TO” Y/N snapped noticing Negan taking it which led to tears forming in her eyes. “He better not replace me”

“Darling…no one can replace you” Negan reassures gently wiping away her tears taking note that he’ll have to get used to the mood changes.

A knock was heard before the door opened revealing the man they were talking about and Y/N immediately shifted her attention to him.

“I CANT HAVE A SECOND WITH MY PARTNER?! WHO THE FUCK LET YOU COME IN?!”

“I knocked first” Simon laughs which only enraged Y/N more as she approaches him about to say something when her face went pale. Causing his expression to fall. “Uh, you alri—-“ then the vomit instantly spilled from her mouth and onto his shoes. “Oh wow what the actual fuck”

Negan was about to check on her when she slowly stood straight wiping the puke off her mouth with the back of her hand. She suddenly flipped him off to back off before mumbling and walking out of the room leaving the two.

“The fuck just happen?”

“Morning sickness. That might happen more than yea think” Negan sat on the edge of the conference table crossing his arms. “So, about the community yea found while scouting? The Hilltop?”

The next couple days Negan stuck close in the Sanctuary when it came to Y/N and her morning sickness. She still tried to do a few things around the joint when her stomach didn’t want to hold everything. Simon has met the short end of the stick a few times when it came to her not reaching a bucket or the bathroom but he can’t say anything if he wants to get on Negan’s good side.

“Get the new group situated and for the new prisoner? Have Eric break him like he broke the last one. Need more Negans if yea get me”Negan tells Laura one of his trusted soldiers as she nods soon exiting the room letting both Simon and Y/N in. Simon came in with a mockup map made of the Hilltop community while Y/N came in for other reasons but she kept quiet so Negan can talk business first. “We are aiming at Oceanside in the next few days. Laura and David are joining me while I’m trusting you to scout out the Hilltop more to get an insight on. Take that Jared guy or at least another body. Take note on any weak points”

“You got it boss. This is the most recent mock up. Apparently, Y/N over here…snuck into the car I took and took pictures with the camera we’ve got”

“This bitch just had to be a snitch!” Y/N hissed as again, Negan stayed in their community to keep an eye on her but she of course snuck past him. “He was going to give you fucking blobs on a piece of paper! At least I—-“

“I ain’t mad darling. Next time just tell me or who knows who would have to die because of your disappearance” Negan trails his eyes onto Simon indicating he will meet his end if anything happened to his partner. “Anyway, you both did good work. Simon, if yea find their weaknesses…you’ll help with the lineup”

The man light up when he heard that while as for Y/N she only knew that brought blood shed and that didn’t sit well with her…in the physical sense. She quickly shoved Simon with an unexpected strength expelling from her causing him to fall over as they both knew why.

“I’m gonna go check on her. You better have a plan for your further scouting when I get back” Negan states heading out of the conference room to go through the entire sanctuary to reach the private rooms including his and Y/N’s.

It was all coming together if you asked the big man. Their prisoner system with psychological breaking was working, their walker yard was being perfected, their living quarters for more of the “civilian” saviors took up most of the first floor, and they’ve gotten a few things to help this place in a medical sense.

The more graphic horrors didn’t become more noticeable until later.

“Y/N?” Negan calls out pushing the door open to their living quarters finding his partner seated on the floor looking through a box. “You feelin’ better? One of the guys found a case of ginger ale that went untouched. Could get one of’em to….” He stopped rambling bringing himself to sit with her seeing the pictures she was going through that she found.

“Do you miss her?” The sadness in her tone spoke through catching Negan off guard. He doesn’t like the mood swings, or what triggers them.

“Why?” Nice.

“She was your wife…who died of cancer” Negan didn’t keep his past a secret from Y/N and Y/N only. “Now you have me and we’re about to have a baby. I just…makes me wonder if you wish you had this with her”

“Y/N. Look at me” Negan waited for her to do so before getting into it. “I’ll always love my wife and what we had. But that’s the past, and you’re my future”

Y/N wanted to say more but she couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped her lips as she brought her hand to rest on his cheek.

“That was cheesy…but I loved it” She continues to smile warmly bringing her hand to rest on his cheek feeling the smallest scratch of his beard on her palm.

Negan remained beside her for the rest of the day and only sneaking off when nightfall came. He was quiet about it and surprised himself a tad when it came to not waking his partner. But that didn’t matter when he reached the loading docks to find the trucks ready along with Simon holding Lucille for him.

“Doesn’t she know what you do in the dark, Negan?”

“For the most part. But this? No she doesn’t” Negan brushed past Simon to get to his car. “And if you tell her anything, it’ll be your brain matter on the ground this time”

Second Trimester

“I’ll cut your fucking hand off” Y/N threatens the doctor that Simon brought from one of the communities when he tried to get a blood pressure cuff on her. “I don’t believe you when you say Negan called for you”

“When he said you were feisty. I didn’t believe him. Now I wish I was killed on that wretched day instead of who he did kill” The doc’s words didn’t get a reaction out of the woman which only surprised him slightly but given this was Negan’s partner, the surprise didn’t last. “I’m not an OBGYN. I am trained in a few things but for the most part I am not. But I do know that high blood pressure can cause complications or something even worse”

Of course scarring her was going to get her to cooperate. Even if everyone witnessed Y/N trip the doctor in the common area a couple hours later.

“Yea done with the big man’s wife or what?”

“Yes” The doc informed Simon while the confusion grew on his features. “Why do you want to know? Negan is usually the one to come and meet up with her”

“Yeah well he’s busy and I gotta ask her somethin’. Move” Simon stated pushing the doctor aside not letting him have a moment to process.

Y/N quickly brought her attention onto the man that barged in. Her immediate glare made Simon take a step back.

“You’re not here to escort me anywhere are you? Negan said it was fine for me to take a walk outside after my “appointment” like I fucking needed one”

“Boss man said you haven’t been sleepin’ and that’s mainly why you had to get checked. Plus the new ultrasound machine we got from one of our communities”

“Okay…you sound much calmer than usual when talking to me. Fucking spit it out” Y/N leaned against the exam table with her arms crossed becoming more impatient by the second even if he just got in there. It’s Simon, he annoys her just by breathing and by taking her duties as right hand.

“I need yea to distract him for the night so I can pay a visit to Gregory. Get him to put out more than we’ve been asking from the Hilltop”

“Thought Negan only wanted certain items on a monthly basis”

“Things are changing. I wanna prove to him I am much more useful as a right hand than just a messenger”

“What’s in it for me?” Y/N tilted her head curious as to what Simon is willing to do for her.

Then a few hours passed, Y/N tripped the doc in the common area on her way to her and Negan’s shared room. To her surprise he was already there waiting for her.

“Darling, how was the—-“

“Believe me when I say I’m fine next time. Don’t need that old man checking on me”

“It eases my anxiety, beautiful” Negan laughs rising from the chair to strut over to his woman bringing her into his embrace and kissing her lovingly.

But it only took a second for Y/N to bring more heat to the kiss that Negan instantly matched. He felt her tug at his shirt making him pull away to take his shirt off and before he could kiss her again, Y/N pressed her hand firmly on his chest.

“Lock the door pretty boy” Y/N smirks watching the excitement write itself on his face as he quickly went to the door while she got ready at her speed.

“Fucking love the hormones” Negan whispers to himself while locking the door.

After their fun, the two laid naked under the covers enjoying the quiet as Negan gently rubs his finger tips up and down her bicep while Y/N listens to his heartbeat lying on his chest.

“Baby?”

“Hm?”

“Simon and I were talking…”

“Damn. A full ass conversation with the man that annoys yea? Should I be worried?” Negan teases only for Y/N to side eye him.

“Don’t be funny. I’m trying to be serious here”

“Okay okay, you and Simon talked. About what?”

“What we could do to improve the Sanctuary a bit more than what we’ve already been doing and as much as I fucking hate it, Simon can take initiative” Y/N shifted a bit to get more comfortable on Negan as she brought her hand to rest on her belly. “I’ve been told I gotta take it easy. Even if I really want to check out our outposts”

“Mmm…I’ll hear Simon out, but if he don’t pitch it right—-“

“Thats on his bitchass. But it can work. Amongst other things. Like a goddamn garden would be nice” Y/N started to trail as her mind tended to do that more during the pregnancy, trail before inevitably blank. Which happened then before she remembered as she carefully sat up letting her man enjoy the naked view for a moment while she left the bed.

Negan sat up watching her go to her pile of clothes on the ground carefully crouching to grab her jeans. “Yea sure I can fully trust Simon with this?”

“Yeah. I’m sure. Trust me, baby…I would rather be your right hand and taking care of business. But things be changing. Especially with this” Y/N returned to the bed handing Negan a series of photos. The printing option in the ultrasound machine was old but it still got a few good pictures of their bean. “All that matters is that we’re safe for him”

“Him? Huh?!” Negan smiles wide before instantly wrapping his arms around his girl listening to her laugh as she tried to get comfortable. “We’re having a boy?! How can yea even tell on this damn thing?!”

His excitement eased her worries about her pregnancy as it all hit her realizing she’s about to have a baby in the apocalypse. Anything could happen.

Simon was called into the conference room the next day to discuss his plan with Negan and a few others to help his proceed with such. All while Y/N stood in an empty room close to the room she shared with Negan as she was given it to make into the nursery. It’s not Simon’s fault that Negan is busy…he’s been doing a lot for the Sanctuary. He has three communities to look after, he’s taken out the others. There’s the few outposts needing monitoring every now and then. Then of course the meet ups, the collection, and the prisoner system.

Leaving her alone to take care of getting it prepared. Amongst dealing with the mentality as the time gets closer…

Third Trimester

Simon quickly dodged the glass thrown at his head when he went to check on Y/N as a request from Negan who was currently busy.

“You’re a crazy bitch”

“And you’re a bald one. What do you want?”

“Negan asked—-“

“Nope. Get the fuck out” Y/N frowns looking away from the door knowing he’s most likely still there which led her to grabbing her canteen and tossing it in his direction. “If he asked why doesn’t—-

“I’m here! I’m here. Clearly sending Simon to yea wasn’t gonna work” Negan laughs patting Simon on the shoulder before giving him a glare for the man to leave immediately as his features relaxed turning back to his wife. “So, how are yea feeling?”

“How am I feeling? I’m stuck on bedrest and everything still hurts”

“You fell not that long ago. Makes sense that shit still hurts” Negan brought himself to her side of the bed sitting on the edge. “And you shouldn’t throw shit at Simon for checking on yea for me——“

“No! I’ll do what I want. Even if that means almost hurting the fucking moron helping the other moron for not checking on his damn wife himself.“ Y/N scoffs turning away from Negan as the later she was in the pregnancy the more prone to tears she was compared to the other way around.

“Yknow what, give me five” Negan got up leaving the room as Y/N grabbed another thing to throw at Simon if he comes in his place.

But right before Y/N could launch the book she grabbed, Negan was the one to come back with his hands up.

“Jesus Christ woman”

“Why’d you leave?!”

“To hand off my duties to fucking Simon. Just until everything is situated. Alright?” Situated meaning…til the baby is out and a few months.

It was a lot to give to Simon. Not that he minded, not that it was gonna matter.

“This room is small”

“What do you mean? It’s the biggest room in the facility?”

“Okay well I’m a huge ugly monster that takes up most the room. So if you don’t move, I will push you over”

“For the record, I think you’re beautiful” Negan smiles kissing Y/N’s cheek as she was trying to leave the room after being given the ok to walk. She smacked him in the chest in a more playful manner even with the intense force behind it. “You shouldn’t do anythin’ crazy. I’m not helicoptering around you for you to end up falling again”

“I fell without you around so whose fault is that?” Y/N suddenly stops in her tracks, blankly staring as Negan quickly moved over the bed bringing himself in front of her.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Is it the baby? Are you—-“

“Jesus” Y/N patted his cheek before continuing onto what she was doing. “Just forgot what else I was gonna say”

“Holy shit woman. You’re gonna be the death of me”

“Good!” She shouted already have left the bedroom that it just now registered to Negan that she did. He quickly—-not by much—caught up to Y/N as she continues down the hall to the next room.

“Where are yea taking me, darling?”

“To something we should’ve done together but I gave up that thought halfway through doing it. You found everything I just had to organize it” Y/N stated as she pushes open the door to the nursery moving out of her partner’s way to check the place out himself.

Negan stood there for a while, stuck in his own thought as Y/N gave him a concerned look when he hasn’t said anything.

“I uh. Missed out on too much didn’t I?” Negan questions, not being given an immediate answer as he brought himself to hold her face carefully in his hands. “I promise yea darling. I won’t miss anymore of this life we’re making”

“You better, Smith.” Y/N instantly jabbed his side making him laugh along with her as she grabs at his leather jacket pulling him down to her level kissing him. “Goddamnit” she gasped when parting from her partner as he gently lifted her chin to look at him but she instantly smacked his hand away. “Fuck me”

“Well not in here but—-“ Negan’s smirk instantly fell when Y/N pushed him back. “Okay. What’s happening??”

“I’m fucking popping” Y/N frowns as the discomfort grew on her face resulting in the panic to finally set in for her man.

“Holy SHIT. FUCK! IM GONNA BE A DAD” Negan screams pulling away to get into the hallway to yell at a Savior to get the doctor while Y/N smacks him on the back on her way past him, wobbling her way back to their room. “We should go to—-“

“I won’t make it to the fucking infirmary”

“Alright well let me carry yea—-“

“YOU TOUCH ME NOW AND I BITE YOUR FUCKING DICK OFF” Y/N snapped, obviously not wanting to be touched at the moment as she continued on her way with Negan following quickly.

This was going to be a long couple hours

Or so she thought

“You’re doing so great hun” Negan reassures brushing the hair sticking to her face from the sweat as her whole body fought against her with the contractions. Making everything hotter was one thing.

“Fuck off” Y/N groans throwing her head back against his chest as he rubs smoothly strokes up and down her arm even if she couldn’t focus on the feeling.

A fucking human was ripping her in half and that was all she focused on. Until—-

“I see the head” the doctor informed also meaning it was getting close but Y/N wasn’t having it.

“I can’t…Please I just can’t” Y/N sobbed in pain as her body shook from all the agony her body was enduring. “I can’t anymore”

“Darling…the pain will pass once our son is here. Just breathe and hold onto me” Negan reassures feeling her hands grip onto his hands on either side of her as she took a few deep breaths.

“I would be careful with the next push so you don’t tea—-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HELP GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME” Y/N hissed at the doc one last time as she felt a contraction come on leading her to finally push.

The pain will pass once our son is here

And it did.

Y/N never seen the man cry as much as he did right then and there while his son was gently placed in her arms. Oh he’s so perfect she thought as the sobs filled the room which was left to them once everything was okay again.

She didn’t want to let go of their baby boy even when Negan argued that she carried him for nine months. She held him close and protectively until the exhaustion finally got to her, leading her to finally let her son be held by his father.

“He’s so perfect” Y/N smiles tiredly resting her eyes as Negan gently kisses her forehead letting her sleep.

Negan was still feeling every overwhelmed feeling in his chest as the tears kept falling when he looked at his son.

“I won’t let anything happen to you…ever, Max”

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #negan smith fanfiction #negan smith #negan smith x reader

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